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Belongs to: Therapist gets Sober by Tool
This song is something I needed to hear, and see s therapist react to it. Lately I have fallen back into an addiction to pornography and its been effecting me heavily. Im 3 years sober from dating sites, but porn has been the biggest struggle for myself. If anyone has any advice on how they may have worked through this vicious vice, id love to hear from them.
Hey- thank you so much for opening up and for being so honest. Porn addiction can be a really hard thing to open up about. I too struggled with the same addiction for the majority of my life, so I understand where you are coming from. It can be so hard to free yourself from that lust that is so powerful. I’m really proud of your sobriety from dating sites, and I know you can keep that going strong.
Personally, I’ve found a couple main driving factors for kicking my porn addiction. Primarily, I try to imagine each person in the pornography in the context of their full lives. They are a living, breathing person who goes through their lives similarly to how we do. When I contextualize that thy have to exploit their bodies for their entire lives, and that they will never be able to erase the digital footprint of this choice, it sobers me up. Additionally, I think ahead to my future partner. I am currently single, and I have heard so many married men say that their addiction did not stop when they got married. I would hate to think that my addiction could cause my soul mate to not want to be with me. I’m looking into the future and kicking it now, so that when I meet that person, I can be the person they are looking for.
I hope this helps, and I’m rooting for you in every step of your journey. Hold fast, we believe in you.
Hello there!
First off I just want to say thank you for reaching out here, we appreciate it and don’t take it for granted.
I want you to know you are not alone in this struggle, I know of many others who struggle with this and have struggled with it a little myself. I am glad that you found this video, and heard this song. I am hoping it can be an asset for you at this time, something to help you in tough times.
3 years sober from dating sites is a huge step! Hats off to you my friend! This is a big accomplishment, and I am proud of you. I know at times it can be difficult to see the positive in the struggles, but I hope you see this is a great step.
I want you to know that if you do relapse, it is not a failure. I struggle with self harm, and something I was told by a friend that has helped me along the way is to not see relapse as failure. In that time of being clean or sober, you did so good, that is something to not be forgotten. You have lived, learned, and experienced things that will build you stronger in life.
Whenever I get the urge to do something I am trying to refrain from I try to remind myself of how it will make me feel in the end- after the fact I usually feel terrible and not happy, usually upset.
Something I have talked about with my therapist is waiting out the thoughts, or emotions. So lets say I am having a terrible day at work and really want to SH, I wait it out. It’s not always easy, but it is possible. Usually this feeling I have of wanting to SH only lasts for a certain amount of time, and if I wait it out than I am more likely to not SH or relapse. When there is an urge to relapse for some time I would reach out to friends for support, to talk to, or I would watch silly videos I saved. I am hoping this can be of some assistance to you, maybe in some way.
The struggle you are dealing with is understood by many, and deserves to be understood. I know how hard it can be to go back to it, it’s like you get used to using it as a way to cope- even though you know it is not healthy, it is so easy to go back top it because it’s what you know works.
I believe in you, you got this. Take it slow, and wait it out. Remember that is relapse does occur it is not the end- it is not a failure. You have come so far, and that is something to remember and celebrate. You deserve to be understood, accepted, and heard. I hope that you do not feel alone in this journey. Please know we are here to listen and be a shoulder to lean on.
Take it easy my friend, you got this!
With love,
Lys