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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Daddy By Korn
This song 
me hard because I wasn’t sexually abused but I was physically and mentally abused by my father the small time my parents were married and after the divorce was emotionally abused by my father by him basically abandoning me and treating me like I didn’t exist most of the time and today, I haven’t seen my father in over 20 years
hey friend, i’m so sorry your father treated you like that. what terrible things for him to put you through. i’m so glad you’re here today and sharing your story. you are not alone in both the people that share a similar experience as well as those that are supporting and lifting you up. hope you can do something kind for yourself soon, you deserve it <3
love,
twix
Hi!
It is clear that you have been through a lot, and I am so sorry to hear that. You should have never felt or been treated that way by anyone, let alone your father. I wanted to remind you that you are not alone, there are many people that are going through the same emotions and are silently supporting and rooting for you. You matter to so many people and are loved, remember that!
The abuse you’ve been through is terrible - it makes sense that this song resonates with you regardless of the type of abuse it is about it in. No child should ever be harmed like this, and especially not by a parental figure. When you are little you only have love for your parents, and being met with violence like this is the kind of thing that makes you feel like you’re not good enough. You try to do things differently, to be differently just to have the chance te receive a bit of their love, but the abuse is such that the abuser just makes this cycle worse over time. Somehow, it’s good that this happened during a short time, but one time was one too much already. You never deserved to be hurt and mistreated like this.
On top of it, having experienced this abandonment and neglect afterwards must have been so hurtful to the child you were - and maybe still to the adult you are now. It’s a type of wound no one should have to carry with them. It sounds like your dad was not equipped to love and care for you the way it should have happened. In no way this would ever be your fault though, and in no way you ever caused it, no matter he might have said to you in the past. What he did were his actions and decisions, which he is accountable for, no matter he might have been through himself, no matter what the demons he had to face could be. You deserved to feel safe and loved as you grew up.
I imagine that these 20 years without seeing him must hit sometimes as something particularly hurtful, and maybe sometimes as some kind of relief - of not having to deal with him or the pain that he has created in your relationship. What he did and said does not define you my friend, that is one certainty. The pain of the abuse remains, is part of our story, but it doesn’t have to determine it, to determine us. I’m sorry that your dad didn’t see how beautiful you are, that he didn’t take the time to honor you and meet the person you are. This is probably a loss he’s not aware of, but I see you here, and I can assure you that you have so much worth and value in this world. Hold Fast, friend.