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Belongs to: Convictions - The Price of Grace - Therapist Reacts
This song really fucked me up tbh. I have had a very bad problem w depression and suicide. This song hurt the most because I had a buddy who we would talk about how we wanted to, man. I still want to moat days. He shot himself and I wasn’t there. I can’t even count the number of friends I’ve lost. It hurts so much.
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how you feel most days, but I am sure that it can be a rather lonely experience. I am also sure the grief of losing your friend also doesn’t help.
Grief can be one of the most consuming emotions, in my opinion. There are times where you feel like you are drowning and are barely able to keep your head above water. It just feels like this deep, dark abyss that never ends. In a way grieving someone that we have lost doesn’t end, it is always with us. I saw an interview with Andrew Garfield a few months back and he was talking about the loss of his mother. He said “grief is all the love that you weren’t able to give to that person.” I know that you loved your friend and I am sure that he knows it too. Although grief can feel like being stranded in the middle of the ocean, there will be days where you are able to touch the bottom and get a break.
This is a very powerful song, I can see why it moved you the way that it did. Music is such an amazing art to experience and this song is definitely one to rage to. Music gives us the words that we can’t find, the emotions that we are scared to express and it allows us to show our pain to the world with no one realizing it. It’s the perfect outlet. I know that you struggle most days because the pain is just weighing on you, but like Convictions said in this song, “you deserve to survive!”
You deserve to make it to the other side of all the pain. You deserve to not have to hurt all the time. You deserve everything that you could ever want. Anytime the pain gets too much, we will always be here for you. We are here to help you carry it. I believe in you.