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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Slipknot “Wait And Bleed”
This was my favorite song in HS before joining the military! I was little, I got along with everyone but didn’t have any friends. I wondered why, was it me, was it them, like you just said am i worthy? Is this worth living for?
Then I heard a song I’d like to hear your reaction on!
Dope- My Funeral
Today it’s how I feel still, I’m at the point I don’t even care if I die now, I feel numb it seems even to a lot of emotions I usually have for things!
Depression is a war within one’s self and it’s a constant battle. Sometimes it feels like the game of life is about to call checkmate! Then where do you go? To the left where there is nothing? Or to the right, where there is nothing left?
Now it seems I turn to alcohol to put a haze on life to make withstand-able, and to block out other thoughts and feelings. Nobody seems to notice when I’m suffering. Trying to play perfect and put on a face for the public but inside I’m fighting fkn demons it seems. I’ve tried to leave subliminal messages to tell with out telling I guess or sound like I’m bitching. I can’t even think anymore
Thank you for sharing something so personal and honest.
I see you, i notice your struggle, your pain.
The struggle of putting on a nice face for the world while fighting to get out of the dark hole is something many people can relate to, yet it feels so isolating when you’re in it. Like out there we need to smile, be normal, interact with everyone like nothing happens, but at the same time we just want to lay down in bed and do nothing questioning sense of whole existence…
I know that… been there and asking questions of " what’s the point?" It took so much effort to make a move, to get up, to take some action… In my case it took me some time to figure out that it was depression and then i need someone else help… I have reached out to someone who was the skilled and right person for the job and yea… that worked pretty well in long run.
Yes, feeling so bad right now can be devastating weight, that prevents from thinking straight… that sucks all the air out… yet i want you think remember that it does not define you as a human. This is difficult, yes, but it does not tell your whole story, your whole life. It is not like this moment is whole you… There is more dept to your soul, personality, history and love in you i want you to remember that you are valuable, loved for who you are not matter what. That there are people there willing to help and support you, no matter what.
You’re not alone in this, even though it might feel that way right now. Thank you for trusting others with a piece of your journey. I root for you and i wish you all the best.
Great song selection, not being afraid of death is usually a normal thing. But man what I am hearing is like people trampled on your emotions, your care, your desire to human again. And that lead to the traveling path of drinking. After a while the body can only take so many beatings before it just decides to block everything else out. Currently you could use a moment of space where you are not being destroyed for simply being you. I am starting to notice lately as well that telling people how you simply feel is looked down on now too as well. But I don’t understand that concept at all because having emotions is literally the foundation of and the creation of so many things around us. So, hopefully you can return back to the value you have in yourself and build that support back again. So, lets start with the beginning of this friendship. Hi, my name is Koto and I am here to help you bounce back with my arm of support.
Hello, welcome to HeartSupport - I’m glad you found us and decided to comment to the Slipknot reaction video - and I want you to know - I’ve been there. I know exactly what you are saying about being depressed and battling yourself. I have gone through several seasons of severe anxiety and depression in my adult life, and luckily they don’t last too many months - but they are deep, dark pits that are really hard to get out of - being numb becomes the new normal and nothing seems to bring me joy. I am curious, what branch of the service are you in? Also, I will have to check out the Dope song…I haven’t heard anything from them in quite some time. I do understand your comment about using alcohol to give yourself a haze to make life bearable - it certainly helps in social situations, but eventually it just becomes a negative with health, hangovers, and just the addiction allure. I hear you also about the hints or subliminal messages just to see if anyone picks up on how you are really doing, if you are struggling, if you are joking around. I hope you are able to connect with someone close to you soon to share your true feelings, either a trusted friend, or perhaps a professional therapist. I know biting the bullet and going to a professional therapist was the best thing I ever did to battle my own demons - I know I lucked out by finding a good therapist right away that I could trust, just luck of the draw. But he has become such a trusted ally in my own mental health journey - I am so glad I got to a point where I knew I needed help and luckily I was able to use health insurance to locate and start using talk therapy. Anyway, I just want you to know you are not alone in this. Military life can be tough and I am not sure if you are still active, but thank you for your service to our country and the time you gave or are giving to helping defend our freedoms. I am not sure what types of support the government or military gives for depression or mental health, my guess is that they are behind the times…but know that HeartSupport is always here with more content, more reaction videos, and volunteers to listen and encourage you on your journey. Be well, and stay strong in the battle of life, you got this!
The struggle of putting a nice face on when you are lost, hurt and have no hope is brutal. I been there its not a fun thing to deal with. What i learned if i have a few people that care about me and want me best and love me. Its ebough to help me go through each day with hope. We are here for you and care about you. God bless my brother.
i want you to remember that you are valuable, loved for who you are not matter what. That there are people there willing to help and support you, no matter what.