This is a topic from YOUTUBE. Reply as normal, and we will post it to the user on YouTube.
Belongs to: Making a therapist cry - one more time blink 182
Today is my birthday and i’ve been slowly growing apart from all my friends because of work and depression making me not want to go out as much and it hit the hardest today when i didnt hear from anyone except immediate family. I’m also dealing with my dad recently passing away unexpectedly in a car accident (I was there and watched him pass in front of me) and it feels like I actually lost them all just like my dad and i feel really lonely right now. I even reach out sometimes and dont hear back. its super upsetting but i just try to remind myself maybe theyre just busy because they all have their own lives to focus on.
The line in the song “do i have to die to hear you miss me?” hit so hard right now. What will it take to get my friends together again? Would they even be there if I were to die or something happens? @HeartSupport
Oh Friend, I can surely see you have not had a good day and things are very hard for you right now but I want to wish you a Happy Birthday because we all deserve that.
I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your Dad, I cannot imagine how traumatic that was and how deep in grief you are feeling at present and of course this is the time when we want to lean on our friends the most and we want our friends (even the ones we do not see very often) to reach out to us, to comfort us, to listen and to just be there.
That should be the case and it breaks my heart that it isnt, some people do struggle when it comes to knowing how to respond to someone who is grieving, the fear of not being enough, not being able to make it better or making a mistake and saying the wrong thing makes people feel uncomfortable which is understandable to a degree but little do they reaslise that even just a hug would go such a long way.
I would love for you to reach out as much as you would like on the support wall here, there are so many that would be honoured to be your friend and support you, that is what we do here. We see you, we value you and know that you deserve nothing but the best of us.
I have some literature on coping with grief after trauma too that may help but please feel free to message any time at all.
You truly are very special and very important. Much Love Lisa. x
Friend, what you have shared feels so relatable to me and I am so thankful that you took the initiative to talk about it. It is so hard to feel like you are completely isolated from the people you love and that somehow you wonder if you simply matter to them. You have a good understanding of what has progressively separated you from them but at the same time there is this wish deep inside that they could be proactive in reaching out and that you wouldn’t have to take the first step each time. Of course, you know rationally that your friends are also focusing on their life and it’s understandable to not be communicating all the time, or at least less regularly. But then your birthday arise, or you send a message to someone, and you are only met with the silence and absence of others, which feels like a brutal slap on the face.
It’s really hard to not start to spiral and wonder if you did something wrong, or if you are just not good enough for them, or if you even matter as a person. I personally lost friendships over the last year and it is something that I keep having a hard time with, so my heart really goes out to you as your experiencing this as well. It’s painful to feel like people leave away from your life and don’t seem to try to reconnect. As you said so well, it makes you wonder what would need to happen for you to be seen again.
It is such a painful type of solitude and I’m really sorry that you have been facing this, especially in light of having known such a loss with your dad recently. You have been sthrough omething highly traumatic and under such circumstances it is human to expect that your friends would be there with you and for you. I know it’s a little bit different but rest assured that you have friends here at Heartsupport and in our community. We are here to listen and support you as best as possible. You are not alone, friend.
@HeartSupport