Yesterday and today were rough. I love my new job. It is a job that I want to do for as long as I can. There are nights when I am exhausted, but it is rewarding & I have an amazing team to back me up.
I made a mistake that I did not do intentionally, but I feel terrible about it & wish I could take it back. One of my students was saying something that was incorrect & when I tried to correct her…she doubled down on it. Her grandmother works in the front office & at the end of the day, she asked me to come to talk to her. In front of the student, she asked why I embarrassed her in front of the entire class & made her cry. To be honest, I never saw her cry & she is super close to my desk, so I think if that had happened…I would have noticed. I apologized, said I made a mistake & tried my best to be an adult about the whole situation, even though it came out of the blue & I wasn’t prepared for it. The grandmother kept trying to make it a bigger conversation than it was & I just kept saying it was my first year as a teacher & I am going to make mistakes every now & then. I am not quite sure if the grandmother truly accepted my apology, but I guess that is something that I cannot control. I went to my classroom & cried for almost an hour & a half. It wasn’t my attention to embarrass the student, but she needed to understand her mistake…so she could learn.
I am somewhat thankful that this happened now & not towards the end of the school year because I can be prepared to how to interact with this student. It just isn’t the way I wanted to start my weekend.
I’m so sorry things started out rough for you. From the time I’ve spent with you in SWAT, I know you’d never intentionally hurt anyone or try to embarrass them.
You’re right that we can’t control others and how they respond to us, and because of that, your student probably is just someone who isn’t used to people correcting them and maybe that’s their own issues and insecurities coming to play. It’s hard when it comes to students though, because you probably can’t just tell them that like you would with a peer.
I believe you did the right thing, and that’s all you can do. You handled yourself with respect towards both the student and her grandmother. I get being protective over family, but perhaps grandmother needs to separate personal life and work life. I know it’s easy to look objectively from the outside and say “there’s a lesson in this for the student”, and I also know that depending on who is telling the story and how it’s perceived that there are other things that come into play. Student having feelings hurt is telling the story from a side that is going to show their hurt, me relaying the story as an outside perspective is impartial ect.
I do hope you feel encouraged that you handled things well, and I do hope you have some support around you to debrief with when things like this happen so it doesn’t build up. Keep doing the amazing work x
Hi Star,
Oh goodness, that does sound like a bit of a day, I am so sorry it had such a sorrowful affect on you.
Its never easy having to correct somone at any time and that is is even harder for you as thats kind of exactly what your job is correcting a wrong is learning and you are in a profession where the children are there to learn. Maybe this youngster is used to always being told she is right (yet another lesson albeit a harder one to learn)
All these things are also learning curves for you too, so please remember to give youself some grace when things don’t go exactly how you would have liked them to.
I think the grandmother although she is a “protective grandmother” over reacted and to be honest gives a little indication as to maybe why the child reacted the way she did.
I too am thankful, but this child also needs to learn to when they need to be corrected people will do that and in many different ways.
You howver my dear friend are doing an amazing job, stay positive and keep moving forward, dont let anyone spoil your day. You are loved so much.
Oh @StarFox, it sounds like you had such a rough day! That really is an upsetting situation, and I hope that things are feeling a little better now that some time has passed.
The role of the grandmother in all this also sounds like it made the situation so challenging, so I’m proud of you for your professionalism and level-headedness in what must have been an emotionally turbulent time.
Echoing @ManekiNeko’s post, I want to emphasize that you are such an amazing, kind, selfless individual and these mistakes truly do not define you.
Also, while it feels horrible in the moment, students do cry and that’s part of life (and some students are more anxious than others, or have other things going on in their lives). All teachers, no matter how experienced or brilliant, are guaranteed to cause a student to cry at some point. Also, tears honestly are part of growth for some students (not just academically, but also for emotionally growing to the challenges of school).
Regardless of all this, you are such a wonderful person and these students are lucky to have you as a teacher. You’ve been amazing to work with in SWAT and I’m wishing you all the best with this situation and your new job.
Starfox, oh my, I’m so sorry this happened to you. I too have been in enough SWAT with you to know just how caring you are. I know that you would never intentionally embarrass anyone. I agree that we have no control over how someone else receives instruction, correction or an apology from us. If the student was wrong, stated her position publicly in class and you corrected appropriately at the time (and I know you did), and then the student doubles down on it - you have every right as the instructor to respond appropriately. Being an adult and apologizing for hurt feelings? Okay to a point. Unfortunately, loving caring adults can cause more problems when they come to the defense of a student rather than teaching them how to handle a situation for themselves. I suspect “grandma” is doing a disservice for this young person. Just my humble opinion as a “granny” myself. I want my grand kids to know how to be respectful, learn and if they disagree with an adult - handle it appropriately. I also want them to have the emotional maturity to handle hurt feelings. Life doesn’t always agree with our opinions and we need to know how to handle that respectfully. You keep doing you my friend. You are amazing!! - Mama
