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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Slipknot “Wait And Bleed”
took over doses twice listening to this tune. (nothing to do with the music) i fucked my life up, 45 yo typeing this thinking WTF did i squander( disclaimer no kids) Adult Drug addictic still. when some one shows me the better life I’ll do some exercise hug some trees and move forword. right now whats the point we all gonna starve to death in 20 years
I’m not sure I can show you the better life, but I can read and reply to you and anything you would like to talk about. We’re all about trying to figure out how to survive here, and the last thing we want to see, is more people losing their lives to this struggle we call life. I don’t have all the context of what you are going through, and why, but I certainly am willing to read it and let you know that we care, if you ever want/need to share more. I hope that you can find some answers and relief to the things you are going through, but I also know that it is very hard to combat addiction and mental health struggles. I have been in Mental Health Recovery for 10 years and I still can sometimes be very hard. <3
Hey, I’m sorry that this is the situation that you’re in right now. I really see how that can feel hopeless. But I want to encourage you- there truly is a better life. That better life doesn’t mean perfection, but it does mean that there is hope for your situation to improve, and that can literally start right now. Even if we only had 20 years left, that is a potential for 20 years of improvement and that better life that you are searching for. It seems like you are aware that the better life is out there for you, and I want to encourage you to seek it.
Embrace hope for your situation, and while it may look bleak right now, know that the better life is truly out there for you, and it really is something you can have for yourself. We care about you a lot and wish you nothing but success and improvement in your journey.
Being stuck in all-consuming addiction and feeling like you squandered your life is so tough. the lyrics from the Slipknot song from the bridge saying, “Goodbye! you haven’t changed a thing, I haven’t changed a thing, the flesh was in my bones. the pain was always free,” really encapsulate that feeling-- that change won’t come and isn’t possible. But you can create meaning and find it in so many ways. I believe meaning and change is possible for you and that even we all starve in 20years we can make the next few pretty good ones!
I’m sorry to hear that you’re experiencing such strong feelings of nihilism. “The better life” is a very idealist way to go about viewing your own life. Comparison is the thief of joy. The jealousy you feel towards your idealized self is stealing the hope that can be found in today and tomorrow. There’s no need to feel shame in not having everything altogether in your 40s, no matter how old you are, there is never a “too late” or “too old” point in your life where you won’t be radically transformed. Addiction is such a black hole, I found that addiction robbed me of my identity and the control I had over my life. It can feel beyond overwhelming, but it is not an immoveable mountain. The better life can start tomorrow. You are so much more than an addict. You are someone who has a future. A bright future.
I hear you and I see you! When we dig ourselves into our own little pit of addiction, we find a comfort in it, but it’s so important to dig ourselves back out, and return to the light and warmth we were once in. I personally love this song, and I find it inspiring to look at the lyrics from an optimistic viewpoint. It’s easy to question where we’ve went wrong and squandered, but this allows us to look for a brighter light and find a greater image and picture of ourselves. What you look for is what you will find. Focusing your attention on specific attributes in life will cause you to notice those things the most. Remaining pessimistic makes us pay attention to the negatives in life, and question what’s the point of putting in all this effort when we are going to die anyways in 20 years. When we choose to be optimistic, we will constantly find the joy, and purpose that we yearn for. I promise that you have an impact and a purpose in this life. Keep searching for that light. I am for you, and I am rooting for you!