Toxic friends

Making friends and keeping them has always been something I’ve never been good at. I’ll make a friend and we’ll be “besties” for a few years and then something changes and I notice how I don’t enjoy being around them like I used to.

One friend in particular, I’ve known for a long time (her entire family is like a second family to me. I was friends with her younger sister first) but didn’t start actually hanging out until about 3 years ago. Last year we’ve both moved in with her parents, because she saving up for a house. We were all excited because we’d be able to see each other all the time, we actually started having out less. Lately I’ve noticed how rude, whiney, and just straight up inconsiderate she can be. Like she’s 26 and is the pickiest adult I’ve ever met. She complains about her food constantly. We’ll argue like sisters over whatever, and I’ll start getting defensive because she treats me like I’m stupid. She’ll laugh at how amped up I get over seemingly little things. For example I told her about a bagel deal on Wednesdays (we LOVE bagels haha), and instead of saying something like “Oh I know! That’s great isn’t?”, she says “ya, I know. I’ve been going there since I was 14. I know this” in a “oh my gosh, how dare you tell me something I already know” tone. I’ve tried talking to her about this before. She told me that she’s always been blunt and straight up and that’s just the way it is, and I should stop getting so defensive about stuff. I’ve always known she was blunt, but like this whole “you’re so stupid” kinda blunt seems to be new. When we talk about work, she implies that my job isn’t good enough, and I should go with her. If I’m having a bad hair day or I’m breaking out and complaining about it, she’ll tell me that it’s because I shop at Target and I need to buy these crazy expensive products. It’s gotten so bad that when we’re home together, I don’t talk to her. She’s not a morning person, and is always miserable after work. But when she’s in a good mood and wants to do something with me, I’ll do it in a heartbeat. Something like this always happens whenever I have a good friend. Is it me? If so, what is it? Or is it that I’m drawn to toxic people?? Am I reading into this too much?? I’m just so freaking lonely.

Sounds like a toxic friendship. Maybe hasnt always been but seems that way in your current situation. Maybe just being friends and not living together would work better for you? I dont really know both sides of it so I wouldn’t know for sure. I can say that you have friends and support here.

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I definitely agree with that. She realllyyy wants to get a house of her own, and she’s relying on me to be one of her roommates so she can afford it. Which I suppose is why she wants me to work at her job, and that’s her way of telling me with my current job, I won’t be able to afford it.

Maybe you should communicate with her. Especially if you dont think it will work out. You gotta look out for yourself