Back to heartsupport

Trauma update

NEED SOME LOVE.

I recently filed a police report for my childhood abuse. A detective reached out to me to begin a video recorded interview in order to initiate a formal investigation. It was scheduled for today. I am so proud of my strength and resilience. I feel so empowered being able to own my past and call it what it is.

Yesterday, I saw my baby and its little heartbeat for the first time. In that moment, I couldn’t imagine moving forward with this interview. Knowing the stress and incredible emotional turmoil it will inevitably cause, the cost for legal support, the constant reminder every single day going through to trial… I know I could have handled it on my own - but I cannot bring myself to let my past come anywhere near my child. What affects me and my body now, affects them in one way or another.

I’m struggling to let go of what I could have potentially stopped, if anything, by continuing with this. It makes me sick he has never taken responsibility, never served time, never paid any dues for anything he’s ever done… and his 2 kids now… I want to protect them with every ounce of my heart. I want them to have a chance.

I know I can’t protect everyone. I can’t save everyone. I just need to come to terms with knowing that I let it go. I let him go.

6 Likes

I knew in my gut that this was what you were going to end up doing and im even more proud of you that you were able to come to that conclusion. You are right he will never have to pay for the things he did to you but you shouldn’t have to keep paying for them because of that. This is the right step, just filling that report was HUGE and took so much bravery but this decision takes even more.

Its time to stop letting him hold you back, you have started a wonderful healing journey and you are going to shine so bright, you are going to accomplish things you never even thought possible and the best part about it will be that you let him go, you set yourself free and he will no longer carry weight in your life.

You’ve got this darling, I’m so proud, im so thankful to know you and im so happy for you to start this new chapter. Well done love well done

3 Likes

I love what Dani said above - whether or not justice is carried out here, the most important thing is that you should not have to pay for pain someone else cause you. You have acted very very bravely, and any next steps forward, now and in the future, are completely up to you. You are free to make those choices, and you have the power to make them.

I’m glad that you have done the hard work of understanding what is best for you and your child and have carried that out!

5 Likes

You… my love :heart: Thank you so much.

1 Like