I’m having trouble and extreme difficulties trying to move on from the guy in one of my previous post…apparently ghosting me. Its been 2 weeks now since we’ve last communicated. I feel really sad and depressed. Ive seen him from a distance and he seems very happy and unaffected.
I feel like i am fetishzied
Everyone seems like they cant wait to get away from me and out of their lives…after they used me up, they drop me.
Ive just been garbage my whole life
You are certainly not garbage and I am sincerely glad you are here. Moving on from someone we felt we had a genuine connection and intimate relations with, despite how up and down it may have been, sucks especially with how this guy has acted. I would do whatever you can to cut off any communication methods you had with him whether it be via text or online including blocking him.
I tried chasing girls in my past who did not know what they wanted or just to get some kind of connection with someone who would like me or could even possibly have sex with, so believe me I get it. When I made the decision though to find and love someone who aligned with the values and needs I had (as it did with my wife) things balanced itself out and I stopped chasing ghosts of girls past.
Also, feeling like everyone around you is walking out of your life can be a gut punch. I’ve found too that as some relationships go things can seem like they never go right and dealt with that feeling of being unloved and feeling worthless. We are here for you though in and your corner!
Don’t give up on yourself, because this a) this guy was and still is not worth your time and b) all is not lost despite how rough things may seem right now.
One clarifying things if I may ask:
How are you feeling fetishized?
Keep in touch and let me know if you need anything.
Much love
ctrain
Being ghosted is awful and (re)activates so much questions, doubts and fears about your life, your relationships, your ability to trust, even ajust bout yourself and the person you are. I’m sorry you’ve been experiencing this, @Lavendercrandberry. It is such a brutal place to be in when you’re forced to deal with someone else’s silence and have no say on it and no way to change it. You’re just forced to deal with an unwanted absence, something that is imposed to you and feels overly present and heavy at the same time. It’s heartbreaking to face this wall from someone you care about and have been sharing good moments with. I’ve personally experienced this with people I used to call friends and family last year, and the grief is still lingering. It’s hard to trust others and give your heart to them, then to realize that they didn’t think twice before throwing it away. It makes you wonder if you even mattered to them in the first place.
It makes sense to feel the way you do, especially in light of what’s been happening with your ex. Feeling used, as if you were somehow disposable to others, that they could be with you when they need it but throw you away without further explaination… it’s completely understandable to feel this. You are of course not just made to be used, betrayed and hurt though, and I hope that, in the midst of this heartbreak you’re feeling, you can hold on to the truth that you are worthy of love, respect and genuine care, in a way that is both mutual and respectful. When someone chooses to ghost or run away, it is their decision - and somehow the expression of how they’ve learned to handle conflict/conflictual emotions in a relationship. It is not a reflection of your worth in any way. How people treat others, is the result of their decisions and life story, but it will never indicate the value of people around them.
You are important and you have value in this world. 
I feel like i am fetishized and/or maybe an experiment because all the relationships I’ve had they dropped and ghosted me for women who were opposite to me.
The neighbor guy has a specific preference in women that i dont fit the profile. Ive looked on his social media and theres no variety of women…He likes thin or average in body, big boobed, beautiful women of mexican and latino lineage. Theres no varieties. The same on all accounts.
Due to trauma, stress, genetics…I look aged, withered, below average looking… I’m overweight, have missing teeth, My skin is worn out with many scars, cellulite, markings of trauma, etc…face nor body isn’t nice to look at. …hair loss…bald spots, etc…
All the women he looks at online are feminine…hair done, makeup on, nice outfits, clean looking, nice skin, etc…
He use to tell me that i was beautiful…but he never looked at me when he said it.
I am also weak and disabled with health problems…and taking care of my mom…
Maybe he wanted the experience of a weak person and of another lineage than him.
One ex complained about my physical appearance…use to tell me that i need a makeover, with makeup new clothes, i need moisturizer, i need to wear bras, i needed to go to a gym, etc… ghosted me and starting dating his preference.
One ex had a problem with my height. I was taller than him…he ghosted and left me for a shorter woman.
One ex told me i needed to gain weight…he left and ghosted me for a very obese unhealthy woman… like 400lbs in her late 20’s.
Everyone that ive dated and claimed they were into me…seemed to want the experience of someone like me . Then they tried to turn me into their ideal woman.
I miss him and he is always on my mind. I know that he probably doesn’t care, but i care about him still and i am still very heartbroken and sad