Due my abuse grandmother being in hospital and my mother stress out. My home is being to much to live in. My parents are mental abuse to each other and being around that energy is too much.
My sister suggested that I need to find a studio to escape from all the madness. I miss being in a band where I could go my jam space and just play guitar in my own space. But I have no to jam with, people don’t want to jam with me.
I have my solo project, that no want to be part, it suck I wish people hears my song that work hard for. And miss being in a band with people, except the drama and being use by others.
I’m don’t snap at people, let my ego , pain and shadow take over where I’m mental case. Dealing family put me in a dark place. I been doing meditation, DBT skills and exercise. But my ego is anger about everything.
I am impressed by your insight! I think it would be very helpful for you to have a place that you could afford and to call your own. The ego is like a small child, that sometimes likes to have tantrums. It also has a very hard time accepting criticism. Sometimes I talk to my ego, and tell it to relax. Also that everything will be okay. It seems to help.
Meditation also helps a lot. There is also some great meditation music on YouTube.
I know things are rough for you, but I see you growing in wisdom. With that comes a greater ability to tolerate negativity. You are coming to understand that your emotional downturns are temporary. I believe your life will improve, but it will involve having a lot of patience.
Hang in there my friend, and keep us posted on how you’re doing.
It is truly admirable to see you slowing down and taking the time to reflect on both the things that are affecting you, your needs and how you react to them. Not everyone is ready to admit that our own ego can make us do and say things we don’t want sometimes. Still when our ego is wounded, it can make us behave in ways that are pretty intense. Well done for not snapping at people when you feel some inner pressure growing inside. You seem to rely on coping mechanisms that happen to be very useful to you.
How do you feel about this suggestion from your sister about finding a place of your own? Is it something you would like to consider in the future?
Take care, friend. Make sure to have times and spaces to breathe these days. The environment at home has been pretty heavy to you lately. You are more than allowed to take breaks away from it.