So here lately I’ve been trying to drink less but I’ve been really struggling, every time the weekend comes around I always want kick back relax and have some drinks. Unfortunately I have a tendency to drink to much and want to keep drinking and I just don’t know how to control myself because I just want to keep my buzz going and not worry about anything.
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I share your struggle. It is definitely hard not to drink, especially on the weekends when most people are drinking. For me, it helps to occupy my time doing other things. I watch my favorite shows, eat my favorite foods, or watch sports on television. My advice would be to do something like that, or take up a hobby. Join a spin or sewing class. Find things to do that don’t involve drinking. You may find it makes you feel better and keeps your mind off of alcohol.
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If you’re drinking to relax, and you want to drink less, then you should try to find other ways to relax. I like mindfulness, even though I’m still learning how to do it.
Hey lonelyfreak, I am hearing that you’re feeling like trying to wind down with a drink is starting to take a more sinister role in your life and it’s tending to lead to excess, is that right?
Sometimes when we try to moderate ourselves and it’s not working or seems hard there may be a possibility we are using the thing we have trouble moderating as a blanket or coping mechanism.
Not to push you or to say that you have a dependency issue at hand, but sometimes when we take note of something starting to be a little more trouble than we would like, it can help getting support from someone or from some people who have experience. For example while you may not necessarily say that your an alcoholic (that’s not up to me to label), there are people who have experience with alcohol and how to quit in support groups like alcoholics anonymous as an example.
It’s okay if that doesn’t sound right for you right now or ever, it’s just an idea to find support
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It makes sense to want to relax and feel more at peace @lonelyfreak. And alcohol appears to be an easy way to have access to that. Something you are saying in your post though, is that you know your consumption can be easily out of control and that it’s not what you want. Having such sense of awareness over your relation with alcohol can definitely be turned into a strength. You’re not just succumbing to something that could potentially lead you to be controlled by it over time - you also see and know with humility how damaging that could be for you.
If you have alcohol at home that is easily available, I would suggest for you to throw it away, just to create more distance with it. As @Soprano_Stait said as well, trying to find an alternative - something to replace alcohol with, but something healthy for you - could help ease the way you feel. It would help you to shift your focus on something pleasant when you feel a need to drink. Overall, a habit that has developped or is starting to be developped can absolutely be unlearned, even if it may take some time. Every choice you’ll make towards not thinking about drinking will be worth it. Keep trying, friend. You got this. <3
Yeah the main thing is that I’m not sure of what I could do to replace drinking.
Are there things you enjoy doing/that use to bring you some kind of joy?
Or activities you’ve always been curious to try, but never started?
I’d suggest stuff that you can do IRL in a group. Is Meetup still a thing? I had some success and some failure with that site. (Some people didn’t take down reccuring event listings for groups that weren’t meeting any more.)
Hi, I’m sorry to hear that you going through such a hard time right now. You should try to do other things instead of drinking like eating different foods, watching movies and TV, watching or playing sports, hobbies, etc. Try to pace yourself from drinking like buying a limited amount of alcohol so you don’t even have the option to over drink.
I usually watch movies and TV while I’m drinking, I don’t like sports, and even when I buy a limited amount of drinks I’ve walked to the nearest convenience store to get more because it’s so close to my house.
Never heard of meetup and I don’t ever go out much because I don’t have any friends to do anything with.
No not really.
Well, I checked and the web site still seems to be active. I didn’t log in but it was showing me events that were happening in my city (I don’t live in the US.) The way it works is you make an account, browse a list of events that are happening near you, and RSVP to them. I forget if there’s a way to contact the event organizers or not to check if the event is still happening, but that should be a part of the process too. Then you go and try to get the vibe of the people there. If it’s good, then you go back.
Well I should have also mentioned that I don’t have a license so I can’t really go anywhere to far.
I’ve been thinking about suicide again and just how much I dislike everything about myself. I’m so weak and pathetic and my body is disgusting I don’t know why I exist at all.
Did I do something wrong?
I’m sorry you’re feeling so down. I don’t think you did anything wrong to make people stop replying to you.
Hello, @lonelyfreak 
I wanted to apologise for being late to the party on this post.
Giving up the habit of drinking is undoubtedly the toughest thing to do. I wanted to commend you for acknowledging this and reaching out here for support and advice. Cutting out habits such as drinking can be incredibly hard to kick. However, you know you need change and support. It’s worth noting that you aren’t alone in this situation. Many people find themselves in similar situations, where they want to cut back on drinking but find it difficult to do so. The fact that you’re aware of the problem and seeking help is a huge step in the right direction.
Overcoming and kicking this habit for good isn’t going to be easy, and it will take patience, determination and a lot of self-love. It’s likely that relapses and setbacks will indeed happen. Any progress won’t be diminished if setbacks do happen. What’s more important is that you keep looking forward and focusing on your goal to kick this habit. One helpful strategy is to identify the triggers that lead you to drink excessively, especially during weekends or social gatherings. Is it stress, boredom, social pressure, or something else? Once you understand your triggers, you can start to develop healthier coping mechanisms to deal with them. For example, if stress is a trigger, you could try practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or exercise.
Setting small, specific and most importantly achievable goals will help you throughout this process. It’s not attainable to completely stop drinking straight away. That’s far too big of a goal. Instead, you could start by setting limits on how much you’ll drink and stick to those limits. You could also try alternative activities to drinking, such as going for a hike, seeing a movie, or trying a new hobby. Having a strong support network behind you to have your back. Surround yourself with people who support your goal. It’s also worth looking into therapy or counselling tailored to alcoholism.
Above all, be kind to yourself as you navigate this process. Changing habits is hard work, and it’s important to acknowledge and celebrate your progress along the way, no matter how small. Remember that setbacks are not failures; they’re opportunities to learn and grow stronger. Lastly, if you ever feel overwhelmed or like you’re struggling to control your drinking, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help. There are many resources available, including support groups, hotlines, and treatment programs, that can provide the guidance and support you need to overcome this challenge.
Good luck as you work towards your goal!
Oh sorry it was about another post I tried making but it instantly got deleted and made a link sending me back to this post.