it’s bad but i want an eating disorder. i want to be skinny and not eat a lot. the past few months i’ve been eating significantly less than before(which wasn’t a lot to begin with) partially because when i work i don’t eat and also because i like my body right now. i like how slim i am. i always feel like im eating too much and i wish i felt like i wasn’t eating enough. also every time i eat a snack i think about how unhealthy it is, thanks to my mother who always has an opinion on how much other people eat. i leave my house as much as possible because if not i just eat out of boredom. i exercise a little bit; i probably should more but it’s hard to be motivated some nights. so now that i like my body im afraid of i eat i will gain weight. i still feel bad whenever someone makes a comment about my body, whether they’re saying i’m skinny or fat.
hey friend, I have struggled with eating before// sometimes still do. I don’t have an ED it is always from depression or anxiety but i still understand how hard this can be and how hard it is when you struggle with body image ! I think rather than placing focus on “wanting an eating disorder” you should focus on healthy eating. You see this unhealthy thought or even obsession if you would say it has gone that far now and you can choose to go another path. dont make those habits of shrinking what’s on your plate. Once you go down that route it will be hard to turn back. You can both have the body you want and eat well. Eating well also can help your mental health 
compared to starving yourself or not eating enough… several years ago I practically starved myself because of my depression and I always felt so tired, sick and more irritated and sad. Food makes a HUGE difference in mood and energy. It truly affects so much. this year I started eating better so I can confirm what I say to be true. also dont feel bad about not always working out. As long as you try! The important thing is you are being good to yourself friend.
Hey friend,
The Houston HeartSupport team replied to your post here is the link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WqrA3USgD4qjc4tl7eOiGOxKRbXaKQee/view?usp=drivesdk
Hold Fast
Morgan Hochstetler
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