I am unable to be stable in my life because every time I hurt the people who I love most in my life
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Hi friend. It sounds like you have some heavy stuff weighing on you right now. I have spent a lot of time feeling like this. Both in my past and present. There have been a lot of times I have felt like I am a failure and can’t do the things I feel I need in order to deserve people. Or I mess up and feel like I’m a waste of time and space. There have been times in my life where I have made mistakes and hurt people who I loved and cared for and really beat myself up for it.
Friend, we make mistakes as we grow and learn. But this doesn’t take away from the love that you deserve as a person. You still hold value. You still matter.
I don’t know what all is going on with you right now in your life, but if you want to talk about it, to help give us a little more insight on whats going on, you are more than welcome to. No judgement here.
Much love friend. Stay strong
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Thank you for sharing. And also sorry this is a late reply. 
It sounds that you are blaming yourself because you made some mistakes. Friend, please don’t be so hard on yourself. I don’t know what happened between you and the people you mentioned, but we can all make mistakes in our lives and hurting those we love can happen to all of us, even if our actions are filled with good intentions.
Maybe there is a possibility for you to talk to them and see how it goes? It is obvious that you are a caring person and you’re worried about the situation. And I understand that we can fall easily into general assumptions about life when we’re disappointed or hurting for some reasons. I just really want to underline that whatever happened in your past, there’s no pattern that would be repeating again and again. Maybe you made some mistakes at different moments, maybe you lost different people you care about, but it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you or you’re not able to learn from those experiences. You can always find some growth, even through the hardest times.
If you feel like you need some help, as you mentioned not being “stable” enough, then I’d like to encourage you to give a try to therapy or counseling. It’s absolutely okay to be helped when we’re struggling. And also, if you’re struggling for some reasons, it makes sense to hear that it’s getting hard for you to give some space to others in your life. Being helped wouldn’t mean you’re not strong enough. Only that you’re human, like all of us.
I’m sorry if this is a little bit off-topic. As you didn’t go into details, I can only imagine what you were going through when you wrote this message. Just know that this feeling that you have, many of us can relate to it from different experiences. I have felt that way, especially when I was very depressed. There were moments when I felt like everything I did and said was wrong. In those circumstances, not beating ourselves up remains important. Just because we don’t need to add more difficulties nor pain to our lives.
You are not alone. You matter.
Sending love your way.
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