Well…today is a day…after ghosting my dad/taking some time away from talking to him, I unblocked him and let him know I was going no contact with him.
My reasoning was being an enabler towards my mom and her awful behaviour, never standing up to her for his kids, and being excruciatingly passive and dismissive.
My heart breaks a bit more now than it did when I cut my mom off, which is kinda surprising. I feel a bit more free and less agony. My heart is tired and I need to rest.
This is it though, I’ve cut contact with the sources of abuse. Didn’t see this happening today, but Buddha/God/Universe saw it as the right time. I did love my dad so much even though I’ve hated him for the past few months, it kinda feels like the little kid in me is crying, wondering what’s going on. Where are my parents? Now that I’ve cut off both parents, it feels like it’s finally hitting me that I actually cut them off. I wish my dad could’ve been different. I wish a lot of things and can mourn the things he was and wasn’t.
I feel really bad for my brother, who still lives at home with my parents. I hope he isn’t struggling with this. I hope this doesn’t traumatise him. I pray this doesn’t traumatise him. Please protect him, God. I pray that he has a better relationship with my parents than I do. I pray that what I’ve written in the email to my dad sticks with my dad and causes him to change. I pray that I can be the end of the abuse and that my older sister and younger brother can experience a better version of my parents. I pray that there is change. I only have good intentions with this and I hope I did the right thing by cutting them off.
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Hi Nicole,
You are seriously awesome. Your post really touched me. Setting and holding boundaries with both your parents took an enormous amount of strength. I can imagine how tired you must feel. Hopefully, now and rest up and get the peace you deserve. Please continue to give yourself grace and feel free to keep sharing your experiences (both the highs and lows). I’m certain your words will help inspire and support others in similar abusive situations.
Thank you so much for sharing,
Satty
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Sometimes cutting off parents can be the most difficult thing one can do but sometimes we have to for our own well-being. I disowned my father last year because of evil things that he did to my mom and me so don’t let it bring you down you are loved