Update from last post!❤

[Amaris]

GOOD NEWS
GOOD NEWS ALL AROUND

So I decided to express to my friend how I was feeling and surprisingly they were very understanding and UNBELIEVABLY kind. They even offered to voice chat with me just to show me that she was genuinely there for me.

We talked for about an hour before bed and I had so much fun!! It was the first time hearing each other’s voice and over and over she kept telling that I really liked my voice and that my voice was so cute. And I was so overstimulated but in a good way, I couldn’t help but keep flailing my hands around. I was stimming so damn much on the other end!!!

She’s everything I wanted in a friend, she’s really kind, affectionate, emotionally available, and supportive. Even though she’s more extroverted than me, she was still very patient and let me talk when I wanted to say something. She’s just an overwhelming lovable character and I’m so happy that someone like her actually enjoys my company.

She even taught me something yesterday. That even if I’m older, I can still be myself. I can still be childish if its in my nature and I still have permission to be flawed and not have everything figured out yet. Even then she still looks up to me because she considers me to be extremely kind and someone with more experience.

We have so much in common too! And to think if she hadn’t met that tarot reader who told her to just go for what she wanted without hesitation, then we wouldn’t have even met each other! We both joined the same discord server one day apart and I happened to be the first person she interacted with because she saw an art collage that I posted and she said she fell in love with it’s aura haha

And that’s how I found out that we both loved making collages.

I feel more inclined to trust her now and she said she always wants to talk to me and all her other friends.

I never feel left out and I appreciate that so much!!!

I am so happy, I have never had so much positive reinforcement and care before.

She seems to be in a healthier state of mind than me and she’s mostly secure in herself so I think I could learn something from this friendship.

[Sita]

it’s great that you were able to feel better. While you’re older, it is great to see that your new friend inspires you!

Given the age differences though, it is expected that she will have school and extracurricular stuff that she has to attend to, so she may not always be as available. Also, given her young age and the fact that you are her first internet friend, please ensure that you are mindful of how much you expect from her. She is very young, and you know how hard it is to be misunderstood or have a falling out online, and feel a bit lost.

Please do be mindful that she does not have to responsible for keeping your mood or emotions stable, that’s a lot to ask a 12yo to do, especially when there are so many emotions and experiences she has not had as yet and she may not know how to respond or react to.

[Amaris]

That’s totally understandable. I try to make sure she has her space and that she’s okay. She also gives me space because I also still have school and other things to work out. She’s actually 14 but I’m sure that doesn’t really change much. I understand what its like to be young and have older people online put too much pressure and emotions on me. No one is responsible for taking on what other people have going on.

I just needed some reassurance. I figured being honest is good step in friendship. But I don’t expect her to do much for me. Just her being herself makes me happy.

And everyday I’m still working towards helping myself too. @Sita

[Sita]

this response has been very helpful to me. Thank you for taking the time to respond, and for your thoughtful reply!

I’m glad to read his, honestly. And I’m just so happy to read that last line! Proud of you for doing the work on yourself. You matter

[Mystrose]

Amaris, I’d like to share this page with you. People with ADHD, BPD (borderline personality disorder) and someone without a diagnosis of these can have this trait of a fear of abandonment and it can lead to some very unhealthy relationships.

I really, really encourage you to read this page and just see if any of it is relatable to you.

Here is a little excerpt from it that might peek your interest.

For someone with BPD, the favorite person is deemed the most important person in their life. This person can be anyone, but it’s often a romantic partner, family member, good friend, or another supportive person (like a coach, therapist, or teacher).

This person may become the source of all happiness and validation. The individual with BPD wants their favorite person’s attention as much as possible, and the quality of the relationship can undoubtedly shape their mood, confidence, and sense of security.