Its been a while since I’ve been here, and I’ve been doing better. I’ve gotten a job bussing tables, cleaning them, setting them, etc. I enjoy doing my job, and I’ve been feeling happier and better about myself, but occasionally I struggle with my thoughts. Last year, someone that I considered a friend cut contact and never said why. I felt hurt, because I considered them like a brother of sorts. I met him on twitter in 2018-19 during high school. We had similar interests, and became friends on discord. We never met in person, but we would talk daily. Talking about how our days were, whats new, anything fun planned for the week, stuff like that. He was the only person that was a friend. My only friend. And when he suddenly ceased talking, it hurt. It hurt more last year when I went on a cruise and was in the state he was in, and sent him a text message saying that I was in the area. The recipient called and said that I had the wrong number. That hurt a lot. It was the exact number my friend had given me to contact him. It soured the whole cruise experience for me. I keep on thinking that if i had stayed home, I wouldn’t have had to deal with that. I pretty much have given up on trying to make a friend. I don’t want to be hurt by a friends betrayal or abandonment ever again. I don’t know what to do.
Hi Slayer!
I want you to know how proud of you I am. You’re progressing and kicking butt. The strength that you’ve shown to get to where you are is truly impressive. And that strength will allow you to get through anything.
Some people do things and make decisions for reasons we may never know, and most likely have nothing to do with you. I know it really hurts to lose someone in your life, but you are an incredible person who deserves better. Please don’t give up on making new friends. There are people out there who will truly cherish you for the awesome person you are. Stay strong 
hi slayer!!
i’m so happy to hear from you again, my friend. thank you for sharing this update on how you’ve been doing. it makes me beyond happy to know that you’ve been feeling happier and better about yourself. it’s understandable how negative thoughts and feelings can arise despite upwards progress - this is a normal part of life! especially when it comes to losing such an important person in your life like that. that’s so difficult and frustrating, slayer. your feelings are incredibly valid. have you tried reaching out to him again despite him ceasing communications suddenly? i’m hoping with everything i got that you find an answer from this, or even some closure. it’s a difficult situation but i know you’ll do your absolute best to heal and continue on in this journey due to your resilience and strength. wishing you all the best and hope to hear how you’re doing again soon! cheering for you always, slayer, you got this.
love,
twix
Hallo slayer, I’m so very sorry to hear this person who was very close ended up causing hurt in your heart. I wish life could be easier and provide answers, sometimes it feels like at least then we could heal faster from the ache that comes from not knowing.
I know the feeling of not wanting to allow others into your life because of hurt, and I’d love to say that you’ll never get hurt again. I know I cannot promise a life free from pain, but I can promise that the moments of love and joy that is brought about by others can help guide us through dark moments.
It’s a shame they’re missing out on seeing you grow and seeing all the wonderful possibilities that come with knowing you.
Hi Slayer, It is really good to hear from you friend and so good to hear things are better. It must feel so good to be working, feeling more positive about yourself and like you are contributing more to your life and wellbeing, I am super proud of you.
I am sorry however that this happened with your friend, it is always sad when you feel that you have met a life long friend (a kindred spirit) only for them to let you down just like others have done, it can really make you feel like you shouldnt give anyone a chance at all.
I want you to know that not everyone is like this, there are people out there that wont hurt or turn their back on you, some people do it because they dont care, others because they have so much going on in their own lives they just cant help it but some will not do it at all and its not you, its them. You are a good soul and you deserve to have a friend or friends in your life so please do not give up hope.
I look forward to your next update. Take care friend. Lisa x
Hi there, @Slayer5639 
First of all, welcome back. It’s lovely to hear from you!
I’m really pleased that you took the courage to share your emotions and experiences. I know how difficult this can be sometimes. It’s clear you’ve had a tough time lately, and I do understand the hurt you feel, as well as the hesitation to form new connections. The pain of betrayal, even more so by someone you considered to be a close friend is deeply troubling and challenging to overcome. You obviously invested a lot of time and emotional energy into that friendship, so to see it fall flat must be difficult.
It’s important to recognize that your feelings are valid and that it’s okay to take the time you need to heal. Healing from such experiences can be a gradual process, and it’s okay to give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions come up along the way. It’s also okay to set boundaries to protect yourself from future hurt, but it’s essential not to let past experiences completely dictate your future interactions and relationships. It’s natural to feel hesitant about putting yourself out there again. However, there are good people out there who won’t hurt you in the same way. There are kind, genuine people out there who are capable of forming meaningful connections and friendships. It might take time and patience to find them, but they do exist.
In the meantime, continue to focus on the things that bring you joy and fulfillment, like your job and any hobbies or interests you have. Surround yourself with positivity and engage in activities that nourish your soul. And remember, you’re not alone in this journey. There are people who care about you and want to see you thrive. If you ever feel overwhelmed by your thoughts or emotions, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Whether it’s through talking to a trusted friend or family member, seeking therapy or counseling, or even reaching out to online communities, there are resources available to help you navigate through difficult times.
I believe in you, you have the strength to work through this! 