I’ve wrestled with severe depression for many years. Because of that I made choices to push people away and give people a reason not to miss me when I died. I struggle with suicidal ideations, even had a plan to take my life that failed. Now I’m reaping the consequences from my actions and the self loathing I had before is now even more intense. Its put me at a level of hopelessness I’ve never experienced before. I take an antidepressant and have been seeing a therapist to work through it. But I can’t shake the feeling like I’ll never recover from this mistake. I want to believe that God can use this for his glory but I don’t know if it’s worth it. These are feelings I’ve lived with for a long time. I don’t see what people see in me, I only see my flaws, regrets, and mistakes. I feel defeated and it sucks.
I’m so sorry for all the pain you are struggling with. For all the hardship you have endured. I want you to know that you are important and that you matter. You are cared for and loved. Even by a perfect stranger. I see you and I hear you. You are not alone.
I want to listen to your story and offer you support and encouragement. I want to show you that you matter. Whatever it is that you are struggling with today and tomorrow, I hope that you find peace and comfort. I hope you find happiness and fulfillment. And that you find strength and courage to keep on fighting.
You ARE worth it. Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be gentle with yourself. We are all flawed. We all make mistakes. Many of us have regrets. But we are all still deserving of love and forgiveness. Stay strong.
- Kitty
I admire you. Despite all your pain, you are still here. We are all human. We make mistakes, all the time, and that’s okay. It’s okay. Don’t judge yourself by what others do, they are not you and haven’t been through what you have. But since you only see your flaws, let me tell you what’s beautiful about you. You’re a survivor and a fighter. You are still here after battling depression for years. And I know you’re tired and you don’t feel like a fighter. But if you’re tired, it means you’ve been fighting.
It feels like you’ll never recover? That’s a feeling, don’t let it be a belief.
You made choices to push people away, and so have I. I was in a rough spot and there were people to help but I pushed them away. But it’s okay. No one perfect, remember? We learn from our mistakes.
I believe in you. I know you feel hopeless, but I don’t believe there’s zero hope for you. There is. You can get out of this alive.