m about to be 20 years old and I’m still struggling with the feeling of not being who I truly am. I’ve spent so long running from my childhood and all the terrible things I saw that I’ve buried those memories so deep it’s hard to tell if they’re just nightmares or reality.
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That’s rough. We’re here for you. The only advice I can give is that each day is a new day. Our past does not define us and does not dictate what we’re going to do next. You are more powerful and equipped than you think and I just encourage you to have a spirit of strength and endurance!! Keep going!
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Thanks for sharing. Healing from our past takes time and sometimes extra support and resources but healing is possible. People are fluid, meaning that we are constantly changing and shifting with our experiences. Right now, whatever state you’re in, you are important and you matter and your well-being matters. You may feel like you aren’t your true self but we are all trying to figure it out. It takes time. You aren’t alone 
We are here for you! I’m close to your age and felt feelings similar to this for quite some time. To best advice I can give you: have an open mind and follow your intuition. You will find your purpose, be patient and learn more about yourself in the process. Love you, friend 
I’m so sorry you went through that. No child should witness terrible things. I want you to know that no matter if they are nightmares or if they are terrible memories that there is help and there is hope out there for you. You are not what happened to you. The future holds so much hope and possibility. You just have to hold on each day and reach out whenever you are struggling. Hold fast. We believe in you.