Hi I have been in a relationship with someone for nearly 12 years now. For the past 3 years I have been trying to get him to moving in with me. He keeps coming up with new excuses every time I ask. One year he was helping with his family, next year his little brother needed to get one year older and now it’s just Bills. I have been loyal and waiting but now I see the children I used to babysit getting married and friends having babies. Its hurting to the point I just want to kill myself. I am alone and stuck. My boyfriend gets upset just when I ask him, saying that I act like I don’t think he cares. He is four years younger than me, So I don’t bug him alot about this. I just feel so empty.
Hey @sunatuna Thank you sharing this with us. And no! I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong
My heart really goes out to you I’m not sure how old your age minus four is, but being together with someone for 12 years is no small thing. It’s completely fair that you want to have this conversation with your partner, and you deserve to have your needs heard here.
If settling down with your partner, maybe starting a family, is important to you, then you don’t ever have to feel bad for fighting for that. If that’s how you feel, then that’s it, that’s what your heart wants. If your partner won’t even talk about it, then that is concerning to me. But people are flawed and complicated - I’m sure you have some sense of how your partner feels about this
I would recommend thinking really hard about what matters to you. How important is to you that you and your partner take the next step? If you want a family down the line, that is worth discussing, and at 12 years together it’s definitely a good idea to make sure you understand what you both want.
This is scary, because sometimes our partners don’t want what we want. And that’s a difficult conversation to have, but a really important one, and one that’s worth having. From there you will know exactly where you stand, and where you can move from there
We can get through this, I promise. It feels like you’re stuck now, but you have control over your situation. You can start to make things better
I’m here if you want to talk more
I responded to your topic on my stream.