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What Does It Even Feel Like To Be Loved?

Dear reader,
I feel so worthless. I am dealing with childhood depression at the moment. I am also a 6th grader doing mostly high school work. Like 6 pages of Algebra a day! Everything is going downhill, my grades, my self-esteem, and my self-love. I know that I may have commented on a post before saying that everything will be okay, but, sorry. I don’t even know myself if everything is going to be okay. Heck, I don’t even know if something will be somewhat okay. I sometimes think that the world would be better without me, I dream of leaving this world sometimes. I really want to tell somebody about my depression. But, I can’t. What if someone I care about leaves me? What if nobody cares and disregards me? What does it feel like to be loved? I do not know. I would call myself a burden to other people. That’s why I created a fake world, where everyone cares, I finally got better, you know all that fake fantasy stuff. But, I still have to wake up to the real world, where no one knows except, well, you reader. I now get off track, I daydream of that fake world and just pray everything will get better. I even wrote a letter to Santa that I wanted to be cured of my depression. I feel like I don’t belong, like a burden, a curse, a worthless creation with no reason to live at all. Thank you, for reading this, this, plead for help and acceptance from someone out there. ~ chubs123456789105

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@chubs123456789105

Hey, thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being part of this world. You do belong. No matter what you have to deal with or what happens in your life. You always belong.

You are loved, friend. You already are. I know it may sound weird from someone you don’t even know. But truth is you are needed, you are loved and you matter. Thank you for reaching out here. Depression can be such a nightmare. Yet you are here, you keep trying and yes, a huge yes, you’re gonna be okay.

What if nobody cares and disregards you? First of all, we care. And if this happens in your surroundings, then you’ll still have the possiblity to keep looking for someone who’ll show you unconditional love. Our relationships are partially a matter of circumstances. We don’t necessarily meet the persons who’ll bring us some positive lights at first. But you have the right to reach out, to ask for help in order to go through all of this. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. If 1 person or even 10 go away, then keep trying. No matter what others reactions are, you’ll also always have this community to get your back and encourage you. Please, don’t prevent yourself to receive the help you need. Don’t let those fears get to you. Every time you try, it is worth it. No matter how people react. Others reactions are theirs, and it will never be related to who you are. Don’t forget this. You are beautiful just as you are.

Sending much love your way. :heart:

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Thank you Microsmos, you help me realize that people actually care. I will keep you in my mind when I continue my journey to become a better me. <3

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