This is a topic from YOUTUBE. Reply as normal, and we will post it to the user on YouTube.
Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Bring Me The Horizon - Drown
What doesn’t kill me leaves me trapped in a hospital bed and I’m fuckin tired of it
2 Likes
I’m sorry that you are going through tough times, and hospitalizations. If you ever want to let more our, and share more of what you are feeling and going through. Please feel free to do so. <3
I hear your exhaustion there, and yes it makes sense to feel tired of it. There is no doubt that you’ve had to deal with your share of struggles, certainly unwanted adversity in your life, and it’s freaking exhausting to feel like your life has to be a constant fight just to get a sense of what others seem to get without any effort, and without even having to think about it. We know life is unpredictable and will always carry to us its own share of difficulties, but it feels terribly unfair to have to deal with the same obstacles - and their consequences - over and over. You just want to have a “normal” life, or at least something different than this, not to feel trapped in hospitals endlessly. It feels as if you were the one being punished while you haven’t done anything wrong at all. You just freaking try to live instead of surviving.
That saying “what doesn’t kill makes you stronger” is definitely infuriating at times, especially if you are in this middle where there’s only pain in sight and no exit sign. Dealing with consequences of traumas and childhood abuse myself, I have felt this injustice over and over. The injustice and pain of having to deal with direct consequences of things that were done to me - it feels like an added punishment on top of the hurt that already took place. Many times I cried and mourned all the times lost to this pain that I have to learn to live with and work on. So when you end up in a hospital bed because you’re in pain, I can only imagine the amount of loneliness and hurt this make you feel. You want your voice to be heard, to want this pain to be taken away, you want to feel safe and confident in your ability to say “I got it from here”. But there are things that keep activating this raw pain inside, and it’s an awful experience to have.
I may not know you personally, but reading your comment I know how brave, resilient and strong you’ve been, through all the good and bad days you had to go through so far. There must have been so many steps taken, so many detours encountered, so many hardships overcome to get to the point of sharing your voice here - and that is truly special. Thank you so much for sharing, thank you for being here, thank you for expressing how you feel. If anything, you are not alone in this fight - many of us here understand how you feel and are standing with you. My encouragement for you is to not lose faith in yourself - there is more to this life, more to experience, more to discover and bring into this world. I believe in you.