What if I wake up one day and my friends are gone

I’m not trying to make the struggles my friends are going through about myself. I’m not looking for attention.

Being a person that my two friends turn to a lot has put a lot of stress on me and I don’t know how to help them anymore.

They say “no one does”. I just don’t know.

I woke up to messages of one of my friends telling me to take care of my other friend. To always be there for them. Apparently this person had taken 33 oils and was intoxicated. I only woke up to see the message hours later.

They say “it’s fine” and they “are still alive” but it’s NOT fine. I try and say things to help and it is just shot down. I don’t know what to do. I literally don’t.

Sometimes I take what my friends are going through and I put it on myself and I think I can help or fix everything but I just CANT. I freaking can’t be there for people. By telling me to be there for this person I literally can’t.

I asked if they would really leave my other friend behind to find a dead body in the morning. They said yes. They said if I go he will too. And then I’m just what if I wake up one day and both of my friends are dead???

What if I just never get a message back???

My heart hurts more than it ever has honestly. My heart hurts for them so much. I have honestly never felt this way before about my own biological family or past friends.

I guess this is just a rant. I don’t know how to help my friends and I’m terrified one day I will wake up to suicide messages and they will be gone. When would I even know? Who would check in and find them??? I just don’t freaking know.

I was guilty of relying on a friend to the point of stressing them out too much. You have to realize that when they are forcing you into this corner and making you feel this way, then they are becoming toxic friends. If they refuse to listen to you anymore and they aren’t doing better, then counseling isn’t helping and they need help internally. There is nothing wrong with forcing your friends to seek help from other sources when it’s better for both of you. Lots of people need help that “just talking” about it won’t fix things. Forcing yourself to be that rock for them will only hurt you. You need to realize that, even when you care deeply about a person, when their behavior becomes toxic to you - you need to take a break from it. If you are that concerned that they will take their lives then you need to enlist additional help in order to properly help them. We want to take care of everything ourselves but I’m telling you that it is not your job to do everything alone.

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Yeah, I get that. I just think a bigger fear of it all is waking up one day and getting a message that 2 of the most important people in my life followed through with suicide. Just assuming the unknown.

I don’t believe my friends are toxic in this situation they are in. I think one of them is just lost and I know they need more help than I can provide.

I’m not trying to make myself their rock or the only person they come to, I send them to other people.

It is just the fear that what if I wake up one day and never hear from them again.

Thank you for your reply.

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If we spend our entire lives fearing of the future, then we forget to live. All you can do is give them the resources to help themselves. I know it’s scary to think that something like that might happen and I’m sure they appreciate your presence. Unfortunately we cannot predict the future so all you can do is enjoy now and help them any way you can without hurting yourself in the process.

I have lost a few people in my life to suicide and I wasn’t close enough to them to see they were suffering or help them in any way. They are lucky to have you as a friend who cares, don’t let them forget that - even when they try to push you away. You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved, but you can kick them in the shins when they are being stupid and not thinking clearly. Just be there for them and smack them upside the head when they are being hurtful to themselves. Sometimes people need tough love to get their heads straight and sometimes it’s the only way you can get through the toxic shell they have cocooned themselves in.

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Lyss I’m sorry. I’m in somewhat of a similar situation right now with my best friend talking to me about suicide. Thing is, she’s told me her plan and mentioned that I am a part of it. She wants me to do it with her because she’s scared of doing it alone. She keeps on begging me to do it, and each time, saying no is getting harder. I know you feel like you will be burdening them but you need to explain to them how this has made you feel. If you get to a point where you fear he is going to do something, please reach out to someone else he trusts that can check on him, even the police.

Hold Fast

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