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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to How Could You Leave Us by NF
When I heard this song I couldn’t stop crying. When my mom left when I was 3 I have wanted to have a relationship and never will.
It’s a natural thing to mourn a relationship that could have been, especially when it comes to a parent. We are so ingrained into seeing families that have a supporting and loving environment. It’s like you don’t know fully what you are missing out on because you never got to experience what life could have been with her in it.
You sort of have to find your own way to navigate the life experiences and learning that a parent would have helped guide you in. At some stage we are all left to find our paths and learn from our mistakes, but it almost feels like you’re forced into that right from the start.
It can be traumatising to experience coldness from a parent, it can leave so much in the mind of a child. “Why wasn’t I good enough” or all the what ifs that come.
Some people say there’s an undeniable connected bond with mothers and their children, I think the truth is that there’s an undeniable and connected bond with people who support and inspire us in the best ways.
Some people have chosen families due to the lack of theirs being present and accountable in their lives, and I think that’s something that is just as strongly important and valuable.
I didn’t always have a healthy relationship with my mother, I felt a lot of the times dismissed and disliked and it was hard navigating needing love but feeling like I didn’t deserve it and shouldn’t ask for it.
What I did find is that there were people present who have helped me grow and helped me experience healthy relationships. Maybe it took a bit too long for me to get to that point, but I wouldn’t trade this gathered family for anything.