When-i-was-working-as-a-forensic-psychologist-i-go - 2509

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When I was working as a forensic psychologist I got the chance to listen to gruesome stories and meet twisted minds but also amazing and resilient people. I saw and shared space in those “Darkened places” and my work consisted in trying to find the “the light” with them (and I’m saying with them and not “showing the light to them” because God knows I’ve been in dark places and also needed someone to light a spark for me) and I discovered we all have something to learn from each other. We’ve been taught to “protect” the “avatar” we create for others and that some people call “reputation” but that’s what people believe we are, not what we “really are”. I discovered that when we dare to be ourselves many of the people we consider “friends” will leave, and that could be scary. For me was accepting that forensics took its toll on me and had to quit, even though I considered myself good at what I was doing I had to admit it was dragging my peace of mind and had to restore myself. It’s a long story but what I’m trying to say is: little things matter, little things become bigger things and you don’t have to wait till you cannot longer deal with it. It’s ok not to be ok, and there’s gotta be somebody who will be able to listen and maybe share his/her wisdom with you.
Much love from here to those who read this words
“Be kind with yourself”


This reminds me of a line in a poem, “beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.” It’s true that the greatest resilience is based on authenticity. Perhaps counterintuitively, kindly accepting our own vulnerability and being honest about it goes a long way towards disempowering those who would try to hurt us.

At an early age, I was forced to be alone and friendless, in a family absent of affection. I never would’ve guessed that those circumstances could lead to an empathetic and open heart. I was okay with being not okay, and for a large part of my life, couldn’t see being okay anywhere on the horizon. Being a loner and outsider was fraught with blessings that continue to be instrumental in my life today.

I did psychiatric, hospice and home health nursing. I avoided burnout by remaining aware that compassion flowed through me rather than from me. Often, when I explained that to people, I get a “deer in the headlights” expression in return. Some people did catch on though and it worked for them.

This is so beautiful and vulnerable.

I hope many people read your courageous words and feel them in their hearts.

Yes. Be kind with yourself.

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