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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Alice in Chains Nutshell
‘when we focus on this one big thing we foreit all the choice we actually have’ -
Cheers mate, needed to hear that today. In the throes of homelessness and various addictions, possible end of a long term relationship (18 years), and horrible levels of clinical depression and anxiety.
The thing about reaching out is that sometimes it feels incredibly hard. Like right now, I feel frozen on the spot. I need to make myself some food and cycle across the city to let my mate into the flat he’s letting me stay in with him. But even that seems like some horrific insurmountable task. And I’m here blathering on about getting sober so I can travel quite a bit and I can’t even do this basic thing without feeling completely wrecked by it.
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I just want to say that first off I am proud of you. I’m proud of the work and effort you are going through. It’s not an easy thing to come to the edge of the cliff and turn yourself around. It’s not an easy thing to come face to face with the burden of addiction, of loss and of grief and defy the thoughts that come. The thoughts that life is too much and a chance at peace seems easier.
I know when I have come to a place where the smallest of tasks seem so hard to manage I have to learn to allow myself a little grace. A little time to settle and stop pushing myself with the questions “why am I being so lazy? Why aren’t I motivated? Why is it so hard?” And instead lean into “what does my body and mind need from me?”. Sometimes it does need a rest.
Having so much going on in your life is sure to lead to this exhaustion. Needing to rest and regain strength isn’t a weakness, it’s a necessity. Sometimes we do have to push past those limits when it comes to knowing “I have to do this today”, but one step and one task at a time.
If that one task leaves you wrecked, that’s okay. We can acknowledge that and we can allow ourselves to be proud of ourselves for persisting. For finding a fight within us. One day I told my friend I showered and washed my hair and to hear her celebrate that with me was comforting. What an achievement I came to! Yes, it was an achievement and it left me exhausted and I went back to bed. But it was an achievement non the less.
Allow those around you to celebrate the small things with you. To check in on your heart and mind. You are deserving of that
I really appreciate you reaching out and sharing! It can be so frustrating and downright confusing when a seemingly small task overwhelms us and paralyzes us. We may think we’re a failure or weak as a result but that’s simply not true. Right now you have several things going on that are difficult and require a lot of mental energy just to keep going. There’s a lot to juggle and it weighs on us, then a seemingly small thing arises and breaks us. How can we possibly face it? It’s then that we realize how spent we are from our battles. But think of how strong you are! Just responding and sharing is something worth celebrating and I commend you for doing so despite how overwhelming it felt! Reaching out is hard but you did it and that’s huge! Remind yourself of the steps you’ve taken and celebrate. Focus on one step at a time. If I focus on the big picture and everything I need to deal with, I easily find myself anxious and unable to do anything. But then I ask myself, what’s the very next thing I need to do? Then focus only on that. It’s hard but I try to force myself to stay in that moment. Then when I’m done I celebrate it and feel accomplished then I can think of just the next step. I’m praying for peace of mind and strength for you. You are not alone and we’re here for you!
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thanks guys, super appreciated. Yes I do need to listen to my mind and body more, and also not think of everything I need to do as one big singular task. I do need to talk to my friends more - I have lots of good friends around me but I don’t communicate a lot - only when I want to really - I haven’t told most of my people whats been going on but I should as it definitely helps.
Thanks again, both of you. It’s nice to wake up to read things about people trying to help me. You guys are legends for the community and whatnot you’ve managed to create here.
@ManekiNeko @runner12
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You are loved and not alone! You have great insight here - you can do this! We’re rooting for you! 