Why am I even here

I feel like anywhere and everywhere I go I just don’t belong, I’m a waste of space anywhere I go, I feel like I’m a bother to everyone and I shouldn’t even be here on earth… I moved church’s in high school and that church I went to, I was there since I was a little girl, and I have now been going this current church for two years now, and I STILL feel uncomfortable like I don’t belong, like nobody wants to be around me. I feel like my depression push’s them away, and it makes me feel like I’m alone, which I’m ok with now, but at times it breaks me.

@God_Is_Love, I understand about feeling like you don’t belong anywhere. It’s okay. It’s great to fit in and have people like you, but you can’t live by what others’ think. You have to like yourself. Be okay with being alone, with not fitting in. Try to find happiness in yourself and not the outside world. You were put on this earth to create heaven, and somewhere out there is another soul, possibly lost and sad, and you will make that person happy one day.
If people don’t understand you, you don’t need them. You’re beautiful just the way you are. Never let lying thoughts or fear control you, you can push past that. I believe in you. You’ll be okay.

“You don’t need anyone in your life but you. Obviously, there is comfort in friends or people around you. But when life leaves you alone, take that loneliness and turn it into something beautiful.” -Andy Biersack

Hi friend.

It’s truly sad how sometimes life makes us feel so awful. And it breaks my heart to see you struggling with these feelings right now. But I can relate to it so much. Feeling like a bother and like I shouldn’t be here. Day in and day out it’s a battle.

It’s so important to know that it’s not true though. I know there are things that will try to make you believe these lies but you have to hold fast and fight against it and know deep down that you are worth SO SO much. You are so important. You matter. How you feel is valid. I feel like such a broken record sometimes as I say these things again and again, but I say it because it is true.

My dear friend, I know the struggle like you don’t belong is a hard battle to fight. Feeling alone and like nobody wants you around. Depression is such a heavy weight to carry. And I wish that I could just lift some of that weight up off of you and carry it for you. But we all have to find our way. But, I am here my friend. To walk beside you as you fight through this. Take one day at a time and be gentle with yourself.

Is there a pastor you can reach out to? Someone in the church to maybe sit and pray with you and allow you to just express your feelings so that they can offer you some support and guidance?

Is it possible that maybe you need to start reaching out to other churches and seeing if there is a place you can find that is more comfortable for you? I grew up in a church where the Pastor there has been the pastor my ENTIRE life. The people there are like my second family. Its like home. Being away from it after we moved when I was younger was so hard on me. As I went to so many churches and couldn’t quite find the same connection. Its hard finding the right church and some times takes time. But there is somewhere out there for you. And whether its where you are now or somewhere new, I hope that you can find someone and the connection you need to help you through how you are feeling.

Much love to you my friend. So much love.
Hold fast. <3

I don’t see a point if not listens or is gonna listen.

Maybe that’s not the right community for you! I’ve had a hard time fitting in with churches too, and honestly, I am introverted and it’s hard to make friends for me too. Try connecting with a small group at your church, or start going to others and see if there are small groups with people around your age that meet up once a week! Those have been great aids in helping and they become close friends that feel like family.

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Might be a good time searching out a new place then. :slight_smile:
Find a church that feels more welcome to you. :heart: