it probably started when i moved from new york to another place. it was in 5th grade and i was to naive that i was being called a pick me but i really didnt know anything that time that i acted like a pushover to everyone. i just thought i was being helpful.
in 6th grade, i had my first ever love? i dont know but yeah and then he started to get distant and distant everyday that at some point we didn’t even talk. when i found out that he had a girlfriend, it was really painful. but what came after was way more heartbreaking since my father got leukemia, or blood cancer. my mother was hardly never home since she went to the hospital everyday and i had to take care of things but my dumbass didn’t do anything. right after that my best friend started to cut ties with me by making my 2 other friends cry. it was a painful time. i thought it was over, but i guess it wasn’t.
in 7th grade (the grade im in rn), somethings were back to normal but i guess around that time i got suicidal and started to want to kms. yeah. i was 11 when i started having those thoughts and i still do. well then my friend pissed me off a lot so i sat at my other friends’ table during lunch and stuff. i was really naive in 6th grade too. i was fine until some drama between this pickme started. now i really need to just die. i know i’m young and still not even a teen but i want to kms.
You dont need validation support your parents, the good karma will see you through these hard days, you will make it through and much much better things will be on the horizon I can promise you that. It cant rain all the time.
I saw your other post. I was bullied for some time, mostly rumors that went on for a year and even to some parents. In middle school, I had no friends.
What I learned from those experiences is that those people who gossip or laugh at you in a way to get a reaction and whatnot are the most pathetic people in society to put it bluntly. Those people like to hide behind a mask of confidence and superiority, things they lack along with other attributes they’re self conscious of for the lack thereof.
Most importantly, what can you do about it? Is there anyone you can talk to? It’s beyond difficult to just ignore someone who hurts you deeply, but such people aren’t worthy of your attention.
It sucks, it really does. But just know that you’re the better person in this situation. I used to keep myself up at night thinking about the people who hurt me. What I realized is that those individuals do not deserve my attention. Focusing so heavily on them is like giving them power over you, even mentally. It can become obsessive, too.
I try not to let the rot of the past still control me. It’s difficult, but so very freeing. In less formal terms, it’s like shoving your middle finger in their face.
I’m going to be like every other person and advise against suicide. I think I was around your age, too, when I felt that way for the first time.
When you stay in the same place for some time, it can become dark. It’s like a room where someone slowly dims the lights. When you’re in complete darkness, you’re unable to see anything around you. You can lose yourself in the process, too, since everything is black. It takes away any value in the world because you cannot see it, there’s nothing. However, I think this is something we all struggle with.
It is hard to see the value in the world when you can’t see at all. I struggle with it, too. But what I’ve found is that there is so much to do and learn. I try and appreciate the little things. Life has value, you just have to find what value it has for you.
Are there any hobbies you enjoy? Or some way to express yourself in a healthy way? Having a positive release is beyond beneficial in my opinion.
yes, thank you for listening to my long story. i think my life got much better, thanks to you. i do have some hobbies that i enjoy and i feel like i should start focusing on them more than anything that would stress me out. thank you so much.
Thank you for sharing with us about what you are going through. It sounds like you are really experiencing a lot of things at a young age. I can understand how it can all wear you down to the point where you are having the thoughts and feelings that you are. I’m sorry for all that you are going through. Do you have anyone that you feel you can discuss your feelings with. For myself I found that speaking to a professional was helpful. We were able to have in depth conversations about my thoughts and feelings and they were able to provide suggestions and activities that I could try until we found things that helped.
I’m sorry about the way you have been treated by others. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. I hope that things can continue getting better for you as the days go by. I know it is a cliche, but you are still young, so things can get better for you. I’m rooting for you, keep holding on.
