You matter @Aaryeet. Hoping that you are safe right now.
You know, I personally don’t have friends anymore “in real life” - only online, a few trusted friends. In my life though, I tend to live with the ghosts of the ones who are not present anymore. They may not be physically here, but they keep on being with me, no matter what. Some of them believed, like you, that they would be forgotten and disappearing was the only way forward. That their disappearance wouldn’t amount to much in the grand scheme of things. Just a new silence created into the world that no one would really hear. Almost everyday I think about the people I miss. The pain of missing someone you love does cut deeply and quite brutally most of the time. I miss their presence, their laugh, their voice, their thirst for life even during times when it has thrown horrible obstacles and pain at them. I miss the possibility of being, together.
I’m not saying any of this to make you feel guilty of course. This is only my humble attempt to speak to this part of your mind that tries to convince you that you don’t matter. That you would be insignificant. That you would be already condemned. Because it is untrue and unfair to the actually worthy and beautiful person you are. I’ve been there myself, and still fall into that trap sometimes though. I understand how hard it can be to get out of what truly feels like a rut, emotionally speaking. To wish - no… to beg - internally for just a little bit of relief and peace. For your mind to stop thinking and your heart to stop feeling altogether.
It’s hard to see our value and beauty when there is so much pain getting in the way and we are the one suffering it. It surely takes a bit of leap of faith to trust others with their own perception of you. From where I am, and even if it’s only through a computer screen, I can assure you that I see you, I hear your pain, I feel it with you, and you matter to us here. These are not just sayings - it is felt, embodied, it is real.
Ever since I’ve been at Heartsupport, I have known four people who were active on this Forum and passed away. I know their names, significant parts of their stories, I remember each conversation we’ve had both publicly here and privately. I remember comforting some of their family members when they had to contact us and deliver the bad news. For some of them, it’s been a couple of years since we’ve last interacted. For one, it will be soon a year. I don’t forget any of them, and until my last breath I will keep carrying their names and their memory with me. I think about them regularly. Sometimes I re-read our conversations. Sometimes I cry wishing something more could have been done.
Yes, maybe in several generations we will all be forgotten to some extent. But here and now, there are people who keep on sharing life with us and wish for it to continue for as long as possible. We wish to keep on trying to figure out this crazy thing that is life alongside you, Aaryeet. Not without your voice. Not with the horrible silences that death leaves wherever it goes. But with you. And that is what this part of you who posted here wants too. You are not here by mistake, and there are beautiful things, even healing, that can come out of connecting with people who see you and understand you.
You are not just a last breath. There is a story that awaits to be written ahead of you. Even if it seems to be so distant right now or even of reach. There is a world of possibilities ahead and we are rooting for you, to keep on choosing it, to keep on choosing you. 
