Why can’t I talk

Lately I’ve been finding it hard to talk to my friends, or really anyone in general. It’s so exhausting for me to come up with a reply now that’s more than just “ok”. Sometimes I see I have messages from people and I wait hours or days to reply because I feel exhausted. I started watching more streams because I don’t have to have a full conversation but can still talk to people, but then I feel terrible that I can comment something in a stream but I can’t get back with a friend. I’ve cut back on social media to see if that’s the case, but I haven’t really noticed a difference. Idk if it’s just stress from school causing this. I know I tend to isolate myself, but it just seems different this time.


It’s that with me, too!

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Hey @beth_the_fake_ginger,

Thank you so much for being here and sharing about what’s going on, especially if you tend to isolate these days. :heart:

Sometimes we don’t have the energy to socialize, and that’s okay. I think it’s even more normal while we’re collectively experiencing a pandemic. There’s this silent exhaustion in the background that happens to be very draining sometimes. I personally have some kind of cycles when I need to be on my own too. People who really know me get used to the fact that I just disappear from time to time without saying anything. It’s not that I don’t want to talk, not that I don’t love them but talking just takes too much energy at the moment, because I’m whether too tired, depressed, stressed, or all at once.

A good way to get rid of some kind of unecessary pressure when it comes to social interactions, is just to let others know about it. To express the fact that you’re a bit stressed these days and don’t feel up to have long or deep conversations. Your friends and the people who love you will still be there once you come back - and they’ll keep being there if you want to reach out and ask for some help too.

It’s okay to give yourself some grace if you need to focus on different kind of interactions these days, especially if you feel stressed. I totally get what you mean about the streams by the way. It truly makes sense. The level of interaction there is very different than with people who are really close to us. It’s not the same level of commitment, even just subconsciously, so there’s not this extra-pressure on our shoulders when we interact on a chat for a couple of hours.

However, make sure to take care of yourself as much as possible. There’s isolation and isolation. If it’s to find again some strength through solitude, like a way to recharge your energy, then that’s truly positive. If it’s motivated by fears or negative feelings about yourself, then I’d like to encourage you to reach out to someone you trust so they could support you during this time. Being alone and/or limiting our interactions during a certain time can be very helpful and needed sometimes. But as it can also be a double-edged sword, make sure you do it for good reasons, for your own well-being. We all want the best for you here, no matter how much you interact with others. :heart:


Hey there, @beth_the_fake_ginger! Funny enoughI felt like this throughout most of last year and up until recently. I found out that what we’re dealing with is called “surge capacity.” Most people like to call it pandemic fatigue, but surge capacity is one’s ability—both mental and physical—that we draw on for short-term survival in acutely stressful situations, such as natural disasters. Because a pandemic can last years living in such a fragile state of stress and the unknown depletes your ability to function properly. That’s why we feel exhausted, apathetic, and trying to just get through stuff.

I wanted to write on what helped me in hopes that it helps you so I wrote an article about it this week that this topic inspired! There’s a practice called radical acceptance that will really explain a lot and hopefully get you back on the right path, plus give you some insight into moving past how you feel. Anyway, I just dropped the article so here it is! Let me know if you have questions or need additional clarification/help.


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