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Why I'm here (TW: bullying)


#1

I suppose that we all eventually ask ourselves why we are at any given point in our lives. I’ve asked myself, and the answer is always that I belong there.
My story starts in sixth grade. From day one, I was picked on. Verbal abuse, cyber bullying, you name it. I even at one point had a thumb tack thrown at me. The faculty didn’t do anything about it, so I was on my own. The bullying didn’t stop until I graduated, but I found a way to cope.
I had this classmate with severe depression, and he was pretty deep in a hole. He wasn’t taking his meds, was self harming, etc. A lot of people were kinda off-put by him. I became his friend, and gradually started getting him back on track. In helping him, I was able to help myself. I used my emotions to drive me, and by helping him, I found purpose.
I’ve continued with that. Even now, in my senior year of high school, I keep my ringer up at night so that anyone who needs me can call me, and I’ll pick up, even at 3 AM. I no longer get picked on, and I instead have a whole other sweet of stressors. But more than all else, I enjoy helping people.
I found out about HeartSupport last summer at Warped Tour, and decided to try it out. I clicked right in, and I’ve felt right at home ever since.
How about you all? What brings you where you are in life?


#2

These last several months haven’t been the greatest for me, as my family is in a situation now. Like you, I used to be bullied and friendless, all through elementry school so I kind of grew up socially awkward and junior high it was really hard to meld back into society and learn how to interact with people. High school is much better, but now my family doesn’t want me wearing black so it’s kind of hard there. It doesn’t nessecarily make me feel bad about myself, but I do wish I could wear what I want.
Anyway, a lot of my days are bad, but it always helps to go on heartsupport. I agree, helping others seems to help yourself


#3

I wish it was the same. I too like helping people out and want it to be my purpose.

I am too damaged. I feel tooo alone. I don’t belong anywhere.

The only reason I reply to any posts now is one of my case managers told me to continue what I started when I first joined this forum. To be honest.

I feel like a hypocrite though. I lost all my joy when I found out on December 1st I am still suicidal and haven’t gotten over it.

Don’t worry. I still want to do things. I’ve a bucket list. I am most likely going to complete it. This doesn’t resolve my suicidal tendencies. I almost ensured my disappearance on the 3rd of january. I don’t know what happened or why I am still alive. I guess I am abiding my time.

Maybe I do have a purpose I must fulfill. I am just here existing for now that is what I know.


#4

We’re all damaged a bit, and in this world, we’re each alone in some form or another. But it isn’t loneliness because we don’t have anyone, we just don’t have the person who fits best with us. Stay strong, I promise things get better.