Back to heartsupport

Why should I do music

Been dreaming into my lame solo project into a band, but no music me like my songs. Fact no one in the music scene like as a person. Cause I’m wired autistic virgin that get shit one, hated on and use for rides. Cause I don’t fit with goths or anyone. They all think they greatest thing since the fucking beaties.

At least I got a drummer to try out, but she bail on me tonight. To be fair she was at a family party which I totally forgot understand. But I pay 80 dollars on a jam spot. I feel she think she better than me. That she just messing with me.

In past bands, I’m been the hated one, they said I’m too wild and too wired to be in thier bands. Last band left me in the snow storm and had make my parents that are old pick me up. I was there till 1am, those cunts gave me shit I was not studio in time ( even thou I pay for whole thing)

I just wanted be in a band and just jam out for fun with good friends, but everyone in the music in Boston think as me a poser. It make me suicidal and just flip out on people. Everyone just think I’m loser that better off killing himself


Hi there @Metalskater1990 , I may not have many words of wisdom to shine on you, but I would like you to know that I hear you, and I acknowledged your struggles. I hope writing it all out could blow off some steam for you, I know it really helps me out.

You matter, and I, as well as many others here care about your wellbeing as well.

It sounds like you’re very passionate about your music, that’s awesome! I’d love to hear more about it, if that’s okay with you. I am a creative myself, but I draw pictures. As someone who is passionate about my creative ventures as well, I support you and your dream for your solo project to be put into a band.

I hope you’re doing alright, do let us all know how you’re doing when you’re ready, we care about you. Take care, my musical friend :heart:


I know that you are not a poser. You might be surprised at how often such accusations are “projections.” In other words, without realizing it, they accuse others of being like themselves. For example, a person who has a habit of telling lies, assumes that everyone else is also telling lies. A thief may assume that given the opportunity, everyone else also steals. A jealous person can be very quick to accuse someone else of being jealous.

In your case, posers are accusing you of posing. That’s because when they think they are seeing you, they are in fact seeing a reflection of themselves. That is something to keep in mind, those who make unfair accusations, are, without realizing it, telling on themselves.

I get the impression that the band members that you have worked with are not terribly mature, therefore, make unfair assumptions about you. They probably have a lot to learn, but gaining the knowledge they need, will likely be delayed, if they think they already know it all.

I think a solo project might be fun. You could work on your own schedule, which means you will be more rested when you play. Is it possible to play with pre-recorded accompaniments?


Hey! Not a musician but an artist who struggles with similar things. I think you should keep pursuing your passion since you sound like you’re really into it, and from what I read you’re really dedicated and committed too which are excellent qualities! Music seems like a tough career path to me, mostly because I’m no good at it. But I reckon if you’re already making songs then you’ve definitely got the skills to keep putting your work out there, and finding potential bandmates if that’s something you’re still keen on. I’m sorry your drummer bailed on you, and that you couldn’t fit in the music scene. It feels like such a tough crowd, especially if you put more of yourself out there to perform and play your songs in front of people. I feel like wild and wired is my thing, but I understand if a lot of people don’t get that. I think a lot of styles that are “popular” these days aren’t wild bands… but honestly that’s what the music scene needs!

Keep going at it and stay authentic, you’ll find people who will wanna work with you, respect you, and show up. There’s gonna be a lot of hecklers and rude people out there–but you have a voice and a way to put it out creatively, and there will definitely be more and more people who are willing to listen to your music. If you put your music up online I’d love to hear it too!


Hey @Metalskater1990,

It might be possible that being in a band would be a bit too much for now. Not because of you - how people described you and judged you is completely unfair - but simply because it might be a long journey to find the right people. Whenever I want to try something different regarding creativity in general, I try to also make sure that I have a kind of safety to which I can always go back when the hurdles of trying something new just get too much. Just because it’s essential to keep focusing on what is truly important to us, this spark inside that flourishes whenever we do something WE like.

Doing music is part of who you are. It’s something that fulfills your soul. It should never be stopped because of others. This is your life, your passion, your goals and hobbies. This is about what nurtures you. There is a relation between music and you, a unique experience that can never be taken away by anyone.

I would encourage you, in times to come, to try to refocus on your passion, on simple ways to practice and explore it as you like, without having to deal with others. Reconnect with music for what it makes you feel first and foremost. It is what drives you and will keep driving you beyond obstacles like others judgment. You do you. That is totally fine.


As a musician, music comes from inside you. For me, I do not let ensembles or if I play with them or not to decide if I am a musician or not. Music comes from within and that drive to share. That said, if you mean you want to be a professional musician; unfortunately that means you must interact with other humans. And part of being respected as a musician is demonstrating you can “do the job”. Part of doing the job in a group is working with others. So, to do well in music one needs to build a reputation. When I looking for others to perform music with I would look towards some general characteristics. These include the obvious to have adequate mastery on your chosen mode (voice instrument), a willingness and commitment towards continual improvement, knowing the literature/rep/musicianship of the chosen genre, showing I can work with others, being reliable myself in my playing and how I handle myself, flexibility and adaptability, ability to play as part of group or step up to the lead, reflecting the mission and goals of the group, communication musically and otherwise. Basically, like it or not, one needs other players/people to be in a group, negotiate venues, be asked to do jobs. That said; there are a LOT of great musicians out and about. So one must act and perform in a manner that others want to interact. It does not work to think, “I play so great, I am so wonderful, I can do anything I want!” One also must be able to consider critical comments as to if they are valid and if it is something you might need to change. I would suggest that if several have said you are too wild, for example, consider what might give them that perception? If you are not wild, how can you convince others of that. But keep in mind, in the performing arts, one can be turned down and there IS no valid reason. This is why you have to trust in yourself. But if you are in a competitive market, there are a lot of musicians in Boston, you need to compete strongly against those other players. And it is not always about playing the music. So, if you want to be in music, you have to go into it knowing not everyone will like what you put out. However, at the same time, you have to put out what others want. I dunno, and I am not making judgements, but be careful you are of a mindset to be willing to do some of this. One HAS to be open to working with many different types of musicians/people to be successful in the performing arts. One has to have a strong sense of their artistic sense and be able to communicate that. And, to mention, some of these qualities that I have mentioned? If one is not doing some of these, despite how well one plays/sings, people might not see you as professional musician. So one has to strive to project that. And, guess what? Sometimes people don’t show up, or a situation seems ridiculous. Guess what? That is human situation and essentially in the performing arts. So yeah, do music. But realize there is more to it and develop that aspect so you are someone others WANT to play with. Where others see you as an asset. And if something does not work out? Look for the next thing and learn from the last experience. In short, music requires one to play well with the others.


This topic was automatically closed 30 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.

From: Micro

Hey friend, just checking in. How things are going since you’ve posted? Do you manage to practice and enjoy your passion for music, still? It is such a gift to know something that fills your heart. I hope you keep using this wonderful outlet. <3

From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hey friend, you posted this a little while ago so I thought it would be an idea to ask how things were going? how is the
music these days? I think its great that you do your own music, it takes great talent to do that so you clearly have a gift and you dont have to fit in with anyone else. Dont let anyone tell you where you should sit in this life, you sit where ever you want to as long as you are happy and doing what you want to and not hurting anyone else keep doing what you are doing. You are not a loser, if anything I would call you a passionate person who knows what they want and there is nothing wrong with that. Much Love Lisa. x

1 Like