why can’t my nose be smaller? why can’t my lips be bigger? why can’t my head shape be thinner? why can’t my jawline be sharper? why can’t my eyes be something other than brown? why can’t my fingers be average size rather than small and weird? why can’t my toes look normal too bruh? why can’t i be average height? whyre my feet so big for my height? why can’t i be skinny? why can’t i be loved? why can i not sotp thinning about how nobody will ever love me because i don’t look like how people think pretty people look. i have an, i guess you would say, middle eastern type of nose as my lips are thin without a good shape. my cheeks are chubby and my side profile is absolutely horrendous. my eye shape is ok but nobody likes brown eyes so it doesnt matter. my head shape is thick and it’s always gonna make me look fat. i’m still fat anyways which i want to work on but i can’t because it’s fucking 100+ and humid everyday and i have no motivation. i feel like if i just had one single person who matters to me tell me that i could do it and tell me that i’m worth something then maybe it’d be okay, right? i want somebody to look me in the eyes in real life and tell me that i’m not ugly like i’ve been told my entire life but that i’m beautiful to them. i don’t want it to be a lie either, i want them to mean it. nobody will ever see me and think “wow, she’s pretty”. it’s just not going to happen. i’ll probably be alone my entire life because i’m so ugly and nobody will want me. my personality is bad too. i either talk too much, not enough, say the wrong stuff, make bad jokes, and i’m kind of just rude. i want to disappear and make everyone forget about me. i’ve been happy these past few days for no reason but if that’s gone now so oh well. idk what to do. i just want to fucking matter or something
I can relate to your struggles. I have dealt with body issues since middle school and body dysmorphia. I hated my teeth, hated my asymmetrical jawline, hated my weight, hated my chest, hated my skin, etc. I thought I was ugly because I magnified all my “flaws” and thought that’s what everyone else saw. Turns out, it was just me. No one else saw the ugly person I saw. I think that you’re probably going through something similar. I found that the qualities that I hated in myself were actually what made me unique. The same things I hated were the same things other people actually liked about me. It’s a very strange game that the devil plays on our body image. We think we need to look like someone else, while in reality people love us the way we naturally are.
i thank you for taking the time out of your day to reply to me but, this isn’t the case for me. nobody has ever said anything nice about my appearance and i’ve always been bullied for being ugly. i have right to hate the things about me because everyone sees these things. they point it out to me and make fun of me for it. i’m sorry if this came off as rude somehow, i just wanted you to know that i’m grateful for the reply but i guess some things just can’t be made different. : )
i have right to hate the things about me because everyone sees these things. they point it out to me and make fun of me for it.
You always have the right to feel how you feel. But the people who made/make fun of you have actually no right to do so. And the very fact that they point out things about your appearence doesn’t mean that what they say is true. Even if it’s things you heard repeatedly, even if they shouted it, it wouldn’t make it more true. And what isn’t loving doesn’t deserve your attention, or your heart.
Their attitude, their words, only say that they are being mean for no reason, that they rather chose hate than love at the moment. It says things about them, not you. The problem is not about you or your appearance. It’s about how people treat you and how they make you feel about yourself. The problem is in their own hands, not yours.
But I hear you. In this world, there’s a lot of people who find it easier to mock others and point out what they consider to be flaws. It hurts. A lot. But you still have some control over how much space, energy and time you dedicate to their own stupidity (sorry, I don’t find another word). What matters is the relationship you have with yourself. You have the right to be unsatisfied with your body - 100%. But you don’t have to let others hatred fill your thoughts with unecessary pain. They’re not living your life. They don’t own the right to decide for you or influence your capacity to love yourself.
When people put conditions on love, that’s not love. When they make you feel bad about yourself, that’s not love. And that’s not people you deserve to be with. You don’t have to fit in X or Y criterias to have the right to be loved, cared for, and respected. We are all imperfect in our own ways. We are all ashamed of some parts of our bodies, or even our personalities. We all have things we don’t like about ourselves (except maybe some very narcissist people - but it’s still a way to hide a bunch of insecurities). You are imperfect. That what makes you uniquely you. Love is not conditioned by the way you look. Beauty is like any good, it might help makes life easier, but it will never define the worth of someone.
What are some habits you could try to create to connect to your body in a way that would be more peaceful and restorative? I can tell that I feel 90% of the time like crap because I hate my body with passion. But there are habits that truly help me to reduce this %. Having a walk, meditation, light exercise, stretching, dancing, having a warm bath, using body creams (like only parts I’m comfortable with, such as forearms), listing sometimes the reasons why I’m grateul to my body (what it allows me to do and enjoy), etc… Just some suggestions though. Oftentimes, there is some discomfort to overcome when doing this. But it’s truly worth it, if done at your own pace. Step by step.
There are ways to create some peace. You don’t have to be at war with your appearance. But it requires some work, for sure.
Friend, you are loved. You are cared for. And I can say that I personally don’t have to know what you look like to genuinely care about you.
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