So this june I was hit with dovorce papers , and ive posted here about my anger with her and my son that has since subsided as I thankfully got the help I needed and recieved counseling to help with those emotions. However, now as I have leaned into my faith harder than ever God laid this absolutely beautiful woman in front of me who wants to grow in jesus like I do … but what terrifies me is I dont want it to be just a season How do i cope with the fact that my marriage is over and God put her here in my life and how to deal with a new possibility of a relationship after all the turmoil? She tells me I am everything she has prayed for but How do.i discern that with God ?
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Hey there Mesaboogie! Welcome back! I’m happy to hear that you got the help you needed for your anger, and I’m glad that you’ve found a higher power! This kind of situation is something that is very internally explosive, as you’ve described. As a divorced man myself, it took me quite a while to finally come to terms with the fact that my marriage was over, even though I was the one who filed for divorce. It’s a tough thing to come to terms with, giving yourself over to another person (supposedly for life) only for one day to have it all just go away with a piece of paper. I don’t know the particulars of your situation, but if you are still talking with a therapist, may I suggest talking things through with them? I know when I was struggling to find my way to move on from such a traumatic event, talking it out with a professional really, REALLY helped me out. And to discern with God, there’s only one way to do that. Pray, and know that God wants nothing but your eternal happiness. God is gracious, God is kind. Feel free to reach out to me if you want to talk more about it, I’m here! We’re all here for you!
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I just want to say I admire you for seeking help, leaning into your faith, and doing the inner work to heal after such a difficult time. Divorce can bring up so many complicated emotions and it’s clear you’ve put in the effort to process those feelings in a healthy way. That takes a lot of strength and it’s inspiring to see that you’ve taken that step.
It’s completely understandable to feel torn about the possibility of a new relationship after everything you’ve been through. You’re in a season of healing and the idea of opening your heart to someone else can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re still processing the end of your marriage. It’s okay to have mixed feelings and to take things slowly. The fact that this new woman in your life shares your faith and values, and that you’re both seeking to grow in your relationship in faith together, sounds like such a beautiful foundation. It’s also completely natural to want to be sure that this isn’t just a fleeting moment and that it’s something that will last.
In terms of discerning this new possibility with God, I would encourage you to continue seeking His guidance through prayer and reflection. Trust that God will lead you in the right direction as you keep leaning into Him. Take your time and don’t rush into anything until you feel at peace about it. Trust your intuition and know that God will make things clear when the time is right. It’s okay to have doubts. Just keep asking for wisdom and trust that the answers will come.
Healing is a journey and it’s okay to still have some emotions tied to your past while moving forward. You’re not doing this alone, God is with you every step of the way and He’s got your back, no matter what! Whether or not this relationship turns into something long-term, trust that it’s a part of your story and that it’s okay to embrace it without rushing the process.
Take it one step at a time and give yourself grace in this new chapter. You’re putting in the work and I believe that God will continue to guide you toward what’s best for your heart, your faith, and your future. Keep trusting in His plan and know that you’re supported every step of the way. Keep going. You’ve got this!
First off let me say thank you for sharing your struggles. I understand your hesitance. Have you explained this to her yet? If not I would be extremely open with her about your doubts and fears. Set up clear boundaries and let her know what you require. She will understand. As far as discerning this with God I can only advise prayer. Go somewhere that reminds you of God’s love for you and pray. The answers will be there waiting for you within the peace and serenity of your relationship with him.
Hi Friend,
Thank you for sharing with us. I’m sorry to hear about your divorce. But I am glad that you were able to get some help with resolving those emotions and that it has brought you closer to God allowing you to lean more into your faith and religious beliefs. That takes a lot of work and I am proud of you for doing that work, and I hope you are proud of yourself too. 
I can understand your hesitation and apprehension about this potential new partner, and it is great that you want to seek that go ahead with God. As someone coming from a Christian background I understand how confusing that process can be. Did God answer me, did He not? Should I do it? Should I not? We can really do our head in sometimes with that whole process. The most I can say from my experience when it comes to discerning, when we make a decision that is in alignment with what God is trying to tell us, or wants for us, we usually feel a deep sense of peace in our hearts. For me that is when I know that I am on the right track. When the confusion clears, the fear disappears, and my spirit just feels calm.
As far as your fears go, I understand how you feel. It can be hard to put ourselves back out there to love again because that makes us vulnerable and puts us in a position to be hurt. It is human nature to want to protect ourselves from pain and hurt, but it is also human to desire that companionship with another person. Every one has to weigh the two and eventually pick the one that is most important to them (or that they want more). To pick companionship will take courage to put yourself out there again. But some of the best things are on the other side of fear.
Lastly, to bring about an alternative perspective, your biggest fear is that this person will only be in your life for a season, but I ask a question - what if being in your life for a season is the purpose God placed her in your life? This would be where you would really have to continue to lean into the faith that you have been building to be able to trust that whether it is for a season or permanent that God has your best interest at heart.
I wish you the best with coming to a decision! I am rooting for you completely, and I believe that you will figure out what is best for you to do. 