Wish I could stop caring so much

I wish I could stop caring about so many things in my life, and just be content with things but I don’t know how to. I’m always wanting to be better and to be normal.

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I have that problem too - I care too much about stuff. It’s part of my Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, and it’s pretty annoying. For me, a lot of environmental things had to be adjusted. In the work place I needed a boss that would understand my need to completely separate from work when my shift was over, so no calls, no emails, no nothing outside of work otherwise I wouldn’t be able to adequately separate from work and I wouldn’t be able to get out of work mode. At home, I needed my husband to tell me when I was overdoing things and remind me that it was ok to stop every once in a while. And in my social life I have heavily relied on this community to remind me that its ok to rest and take some me time when I’m going through some rough times. You can make yourself better over time, a step at a time. Don’t try to be normal though. Normal is just a label, and everyone has a different definition of normal anyways. Just be true to yourself. If others don’t like it, oh well. You should at least have your own back, right?

I’ve never had my own back, people have always needed to constantly tell me that I’m to hard on myself. But the problem with me just being myself is that I’m scared that no one will ever accept me, and I’m scared of being alone.

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Same here, I need people in all facets of life to keep my inner critic in check. And even then it can be difficult. It is doable though, with a good support system.

Being scared of being alone is definitely a valid fear, but you never know when you might meet someone who has a lot in common with you, and eventually you’ll get tired of trying to be someone else. You’ll be fine. :]

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I’ve been like this for 29 years now I don’t how to change at all.

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Baby steps. Set goals for yourself. Maybe one could be making a conscious effort to make time for yourself to decompress every day. Maybe its practicing a new hobby and going somewhere social to be around people with like interests and maybe make some friends. Granted it won’t change overnight, but little steps add up over time.

I don’t know how to be social I have a really hard time talking to people in person.

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At this point I don’t understand why I’m even alive anymore I don’t do anything that contributes to society, I’m just a pathetic shut that people always make fun of or are scared of.

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From: Dark Weeb 666 (Matt)

Hi lonelyfreak. Here is a hug :hugs:. I can relate to how you are feeling I really do. Its hard being oneself and not trying to be what other people want you to be. The good news is that it is a process rather then an action. Try to do it slowly, step by step. Try to see what are the people around you like. Sometimes when we are becoming ourselves more and more, certain people will distance themselves. Other people will however become much closer to you. Also its good to try to find people base on what you like and care about. That way its much more likely they will like you the way you are :slightly_smiling_face:.

From: SuchBlue

Hi lonelyfreak,

Just because you think that you’ve contributed anything to society doesn’t mean that you actually haven’t. We’ve all done and do good things in our lives one day or another, even if we don’t notice. Everyone deserves to live and we all matter, including you. We don’t just have to socialise in real life, there is social media and places on the internet where you can still socialise. You can start from there, and keep going until you feel “social”. Keep in mind that nobody is normal and you shouldn’t feel excluded because of it. You’re not pathetic, you are loved and you matter :hrtlegolove:

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From: Ash

Hello Lonelyfreak I want to say first off not caring about things would end up being a super painful thing for you. That being said it would also make those things less and that I can understand that in some ways but it is not going to out right fix the issue. Something one of my therapists in the past taught me was that when you run from a problem of any kind or hide away from it you are making it tougher later on. You are making that moment extremely hard on you. Everyone deserves to feel like they are cared about. I know you may not see that right now but you are. You dont always have to be the tough person or the one to make everything happen. As for you reply about having your own back I am the exact same way and for the longest time I couldnt even give myself the idea of allowing boundaries because uh it was not possible for me to consider doing so. But I have quickly learned now thanks to a therapist I see that sometimes building ourselves up isnt this idea of having our back but rather giving us time to grow and learn to love who we are as a whole. So tell me what is one thing you love about yourself for example I love my passion for dogs and horses it has become something I use to help others. You do belong in this world and you add to it. Hold onto the fact that times are tough but it wont be forever. Hold fast Ash

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From: Aces MCL36M

Hello! I know what you mean when you say “I have a hard time to be social” I have the exact same problem when it comes to talking to people in real lifehaving the fear of being judged. The best way to start being social is by talking online it does help when talking. Trying it step by step when coming social like start by introducing yourself and start having a basic conversation E.g weather, sports and trying to find common interests. And it’s most likely they will like you the way you are! I Believe in you : D

I don’t have a problem talking to people online it’s only in person, and I don’t watch stuff like sports or the news.