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Work-life balance

Hi @Kitboga and all- talking at the beginning of the stream about how time is our most important commodity made me think- I constantly feel overwhelmed and pulled in too many directions. I feel like I spend too much time on work and things like chores, boring adult stuff, than with family and friends, (and self-care), which are really the most important things. But, the reality is, we kind of have to do the boring adult stuff, but I feel like it takes so much time and energy that I don’t have much left for just spending time with and loving on people and I end up feeling rushed and not fully present with loved ones. How do you balance this? #kitboga

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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi @shadycat When I was married, we kept a schedule of chores and activities for the family. That could be an idea and you could include some self care and fun stuff too. Figure out what is the most important to you and focus on that and I bet you’ll figure out what works best for you. You are loved! ~Mystrose

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello, shadycat! I know you were hoping to get a response from Kit but hopefully a different internet stranger is okay as well bogaLUL
Have you tried making a list of everything you feel like you have to do and organising them by most to least important. And put the people you want to spend time with on that list as well. It may feel weird but they won’t know you’ve done it. And then you can see what is truly important in life. And maybe that can help you schedule your time so that you can choose how long you will allow yourself to spend on your chores and your work (if it is more open-ended than going somewhere for a certain amount of time). This may also help you visually see who is important in your life and who you have been neglecting that you wish you could spend more time with so that you can tell some family and friends that you need to not spend every weekend with them or something so that you can give some of your time to another friend or activity that you feel isn’t getting as much of your attention.

I don’t know if that rambling really made any sense but I hope it helped a little. Time exists to do everything we want to do. We just have to find it. Good luck finding your balance :hrtlegolove:

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, thank you for posting, hopefully kit will get to your post and give you some boga wise words but for now you have us, its so difficult sometimes to find time to any form of self care and thats such a shame because yes that is actually really important for both our physical and mental wellbeing so I think one way you could try is a kind of journalling? work out what it is you are thinking of doing, work out what actually needs to be done, take off what is not so important or not neccassary and take that time for you, that sounds too simple i know but trust me when i say that there will be pleny of moments when you will have things on your lists that really are not important and do not need to be there and your self care of time with loved ones are far more so. maybe make it a new year thing. I wish you lots of luck and plenty of good times ahead. much love lisa. x

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From: Micro

Hey @shadycat,

What you acknowledge in your post really deserves to be celebrated. So many people reach this awareness - the need for a right balance between personal time and work/chores - very late in life. The way you are beginning to see all of this is going to prevent you from burning yourself out in the future, which is absolutely amazing.

As a first step, I would personally encourage you to try to list all the chores, commitments you have, and trying to declutter a bit of them. When our time is limited and we are overwhelmed with tasks, we can try, for each of them, to see if we can simply get rid of them (do the plates really need to be washed right after the dinner is over? is it necessary to check on this thing so many times? etc.). A second option being to see if you can delegate these tasks. Who can they help you in your family? At work? Just another way to diminish your tasks and commitments.

On a different note, I would also encourage you to schedule, at first, a specific time during the week that is going to be YOUR time. A time to meet with yourself and treat yourself! Make it a contract with yourself for it to be absolutely non-negotiable. Let also your loved ones know how it’s going to be at that time - needing to not be solicited, etc. And if you feel guilty or resting, then it is definitely another reason to actually do that kind of break. It could be small as a start: a brunch to yourself on Saturday morning. A walk in a place you like. A movie to watch while eating sweets while being wrapped in a blanket. whatever goes with your definition of self-care. What is exciting is that many things are possible, and if it is new to you then there is a lot to explore for you!

Please never forget that time invested in yourself, in what you love and what fills your heart is NEVER wasted. On the contrary. It also creates a ripple and positive effect for the accomplishment of the annoying tasks. You got this, friend! I believe in you. Hold Fast. :hrtlegolove:

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