I finally got a job that could possibly get me on my feet and that has good benefits. Also, been vaccinated for covid since April.
However, we new law coming for everyone at my job need to be vaccinated by oct 5th. We have sent through gmail and technology is something I’m not good at. They gave me the gmail, with a password that dosent work. So I can’t access my gmail to sent a vaccinate photo to my work.
I’m trying to prepare of losing everything I work hard for nothing. Back of to square one and without hope to progress in life. No woman would not want to date a guy that make no money and live with his parents. Can’t never be independent and live a normal life.
I’m worrying of not handle being laid off, how I might threaten to hurt people, what thing I would say in fit of rage and hatred. How might expose at my job and do something impulsive. Thoughts of really hurt people enter my head and they are disturbing. I want to get revenge on the people that wrong, that made feel worthless An’s hopeless. That i did everything for this job and I got nothing in return.
I hate having these thought and feeling, I was meant to the bad person that end up being on the news.
Did you let your work know you’re having difficulties with the email? If they created it for you, they should be able to fix it or maybe create a new alternative one for you. Did you try calling them to let them know? I am sure they will able to organize another way for you to send in the vaccination proof.
It sounds like you’re prepping for the worst and all your thoughts have started to focus on that possibility as a fact. This is not the case. Please try to contact someone at work and talk through what is needed to keep your job.
I know it’s hard when we feel that things are spiraling out of control and we can lose something we’ve worked hard for. But please don’t let the fears overtake reality.
if nothing else, can you at least go into your work with the vaccination proof and show them in person? Someone there can take a photo and upload it to their gmail and submit it as seen and verified by them, while your email address gets resolved. Please do this as soon as possible so that you are Within the deadlines they gave you
Anxiety is a nightmare, please work on all the strategies you have to focus and center yourself. And please know that there might be solutions that exist that the anxiety is hiding from you. Please let us know if you get through with them.
next to only the worst possible outcome there are so many more options.
I echo what was said in the answer before. At work please reach out to someone, a colleague maybe to help with your emails. It is normal that not everything works when you start something new and I am sure that they will support you. And I am sure that there is a way to show them your vaccination proof in person and someone can help you to get it passed on.
That you hate having these feelings shows me that you don`t really want to do hurt anyone. You might just not have the right tools to know how to deal with those feelings yet. And I don’t believe you are meant to be bad, you don’t have to act on those impulses. You decide. You might want to talk to someone about your anger and the thoughts about hurting someone. So you can find out where it comes from and discover strategies how to handle them.
You are not doomed to fail. This is an annoying, practical obstacle, but it can be resolved quickly. Please don’t hesitate go ask for some help and guidance. I think you mentioned before that you are working at a school? You could go to the administrations office and ask for a bit of the time of a secretary there to help you resolve hhe situation with your gmail address. It’s okay to ask for help, friend. You are not stuck. Don’t hesitate to reach out and try not to stay alone with this stress! Just a bit of practical help could make a big difference in your situation.
