Wow its been awhile and life is crap

Wow…its been awhile…my life has been falling apart last month i got a referral at school and unreasonable referral the staff member was being an ass abt it. Essentially day 1 i sat in hallway teacher mr.larson told me i couldn’t sit there day 2 i wasnt all there mentally and sat there again and he said i couldn’t and i told him if he had issues to take it up with my teacher mr. Reynoso i am a Special education student so im in 1 classroom all day except 2nd office aid. M
But he said lets go to the office basically opposite of what i just said. And so i said no ima just go to my teachers classroom. Knowing it was a safe space i could calm down at. This teacher mr. Larson wich may i add all ik at this point his his he is a STRANGER. He fallows me up the stairs. I see my teacher mr. Reynoso and yell “make this stupid mother fucking asshole stop fallowing me” do to feeling unsafe and uncomfortable by someone idk fallowing me. I got written up by mr. Larson who didnt even use the correct name on the referal for me. Proving he didnt know me. But as my teacher and the assistant principal were going over briefly what happened i got some texts from brookes. My at the time bsf. Who decided to cut off out friendship then within the next 3 days. I had someon like a sister for many years cut me off. Then. My cousin alyssa and i sent 2 or 3 texts letting eachother know how we were. She told me she was doing better after inpatient. But then had an OD so was sent again. All within 3 days. Im to a point ik ima hit rock bottom. My rock bottoms are either starting to cut as my form of sh or a suicide attempt that causes me to end uo in the hospital. Those are my rock bottoms wich i have never hit before. But ik ina hit rock bottom. At this point its a matter of when. Im SO tired if waiting around wondering when ima hit rock bottom. Im just ready for it to hapoen already.


I am so sorry you are going through all of this. First off that was kind of rude of that teacher to follow you but I am glad you have a teacher who is on your side. That had to suck a lot. I am so sorry you are going through that. As for the friend that cut you off/ ended the relationship they just cant see how awesome you are and how much you deserve to hear that. Same for the one you saw as a sister. It is not easy loosing people but sometimes we need to stop and realize that people maybe have something going on or even than they just dont deserve to know you because you are too awesome and if they want to leave you than that is on them. I recently had a few friends do something similar to me and I am an adult who is almost a 28. But it still happens people have choices and we cant always know that they will make the correct one and it is extremely hard on us. On the cousin I want you to know that it isnt on you the choices she makes. You only have the control of what you do in response to what happened. I want you to know that sometimes we just need to reach out to others who can help. I am very glad you reached out to us instead of doing unsafe things. We are always here.

Hold fast

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