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Yeah man it sucks. Ive dealt with a bad bealt of anxiety for a long time, constant panic attacks. Everyday one feels like theyre dieing. The panic attacks brings phantom symptoms to life usually mimiking a heart attack. Dizziness, heart racing/palputating, chest pain, verge of passing out. Its usually triggered with alcohol or caffeine, stress. Is it hereditary or burying shit deep down? Probably both. I know what you mean death seems easier than living with this on a daily basis.
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@phanly316 Greetings! It makes me feel comforted to see someone else gone through a similar situation. I agree caffeine ends up triggering an unwanted panic attacks. I sometimes avoid triggers when I know I’m going to be in places I might be anxious. I hope the anxiety becomes your motivation and feels less like a burden in the future.
@phanly316 that sounds crazy difficult 
if you’re noticing trigger patterns, then you’re already one step ahead. Mental health is complicated and takes time to work through but it’s possible to heal. Hang in there
@phanly316 Yeah, when our problems compound, when /not/ getting better doesn’t just mean things staying bad but getting worse, when each time that we spiral it erodes the very fabric of our resilience till we are threadbare and don’t even remember why we are clinging on…and not really knowing or understanding where it came from - remembering as far back as you can this affliction clinging to you, as if it were some kind of leech you couldn’t detach from your soul…really fucking hard.