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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Hope by NF
yes i feel like some days i have some small sliver of hope but then there’s this MASSIVE amount of rage and anger towards EVERYTHING that instantly destroys hope without fail, i just get so fucking angry.
Hello Friend, thank you for posting here. Obviously I am unaware what it is causing you to feel like this but it sounds like you are walking around carrying a massive amount of frustration and resentment which is causing that anger to present and that is ok as long as you are not allowing it to take the main role in your life. When bad things happen to you or against you it is a normal response to be annoyed, frustrated and or angry about it, it is how you manage that anger that makes a difference. Firstly learning what is causing it is a good place to start, knowing where the frustration started and if its still going on or if it’s a memory that you cannot get past? Both situations need to be worked on but in different ways, if you think this stems from the past it could be a good idea to speak to someone about how to learn to leave it in the past and move forward in a constructive way. If it is still happening, again it would be helpful to learn to handle it now before it gets any worse, knock it on the head so to speak. Therapy is also a great way to show you how to manage these feelings of anger and how to transfer them over to something more constructive (not for anyone’s benefit but yours)
Feeling angry is a horrible feeling, it surges through you like fire, your heart rate races and your blood pressure rockets, your muscles get tight and it is exhausting to say the least and that is without the destroying of your hope. You deserve better than that and no one should be allowed to make you feel that way. Don’t let them, learn how to stop them in a healthier manner. Its better for you and your wellbeing and will I am sure make you feel a much happier person.
I hope this is of some help to you friend. I truly wish you well. Lisa. X
It’s okay to be angry some days when you are going through something tough. Anger can be interpreted in different emotions besides being mad. What helps you calm down when you are mad? Sometimes when I get angry I take a deep breath and reflect. Is that a reason to get mad over? You can never destroyed hope. Hope helps us survive during these difficult times.
Anger is such a consuming emotion. It can be so sudden and so devastating just in an instant. It makes sense, really, to feel like when anger and rage hit you it takes every once of hope away. It is this violent storm that takes all of your energy, makes you feel things you might prefer to push further away, if not making you feel disappointed for even feeling that way in the first place… It’s such a hard place to be in. I’m sorry this has been yours, friend. I’ve personally dealt with those feelings, especially in the midst of battling with clinical depression. There was something silently boiling all the time inside of me, then a small event or frustration will unleash this anger inside that I didn’t want to feel. When it comes in waves repeatedly, it’s hard to not see it as some kind of personal failure - that we would be too broken somehow, or that we’re meant to be stuck in these cycles over and over… The repetition feels like being caged inside of yourself.
I hope you can find moments of joy and solace between those waves, and maybe even find ways to see through this anger - what it is trying to say, which wounds it reveals, and which areas of your heart need to be nurtured. You are not doomed to be stuck in this pattern. 
It feel so frustrating when you feel like you’re fighting through day to day life to keep your head afloat. Anger is such a broad blanket feeling because at the root of it is all the build up of the bullshit life keeps throwing at us. It could be trauma, it could be little events piling up on top of each other, it could be mental health weighing us down and all the times people have dog piled on top of it by saying or doing hurtful things.
It takes so much strength to start unpacking the bigger picture of anger, and I must say that I’m happy that you have days where you do find that sliver of hope to grab onto. It’s an important aspect to hold onto because it’s not an impossibility. It’s the potential of stepping into a place of peace. There’s always a lot of pushing and digging up what’s in front of us to get there. There’s growing pains, but the end results are so worth it.
Hello friend,
I totally get where you’re coming from. Is it something that kinda bottles up over time and you release it via rage or is there something that kinda hits you instantly and it just flips a switch?
I don’t think it necessarily means that it destroys hope without fail, it’s almost like it just clouds your vision and aren’t able to see the brighter side where the hope is. Especially when you said on some days you have some sliver of hope. I feel like it’s always there, but some days its harder to see than others. Have you tried jotting down or remembering the things you felt or did when you had that hope in view? Maybe try to focus on those things?
All I know is that you’ve got this. You’ve got a hold of the reins.
Hello Friend,
Thank you for sharing a bit about how you have been feeling. I can understand what it’s like to feel as though you are making some progress but then things get undone and it feels as though you took step backwards. I imagine that it is a similar feeling to what you described about feeling small traces of hope that gets destroyed when you feel this angry.
Have you noticed any triggers for your anger, anything that seems to get these feelings into gear. Often times there can be a lot of underlying causes for our anger that need to be explored and understood.
At the end of the day, your feelings are valid. And it is okay to feel angry sometimes. But try to see if you can find methods of support that can help you manage these feelings in a constructive and healthy way when they get to be too overwhelming for you to manage on your own.