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Belongs to: Jake Luhrs and Therapist React to Snuff (Live) Corey Taylor
You don’t know I matter. I’m so done with this life and everyone in it. Except my kids. I’ve told the closest supposed people in my life what I’m gonna do…no one takes me seriously. FUCK THIS WORLD.
I am so sorry to hear that you’re at that point of hopelessness. How much you matter to your kids and the impact you make in their lives is immeasurable! Feeling like the people in our lives are not taking our pain seriously is such an invisible feeling. It devalues the devastating place you’re in and ignores the emergency of the situation. It’s like you feel your house is on fire and everyone else is just chilling, not seeing that everything is crumbling down and about to be totaled completely. They may not even smell the smoke in their ignorance of the magnitude of the problem. That is one of the worst feelings… to have so much going on internally, so many demons you’re fighting daily, and to have those around you saying that those demons don’t even exist. Them not taking you seriously just adds more gasoline to your internal blaze because it adds on the pain of not being believed.
I can’t imagine the pain of that.
This world is a painful place and no one survives without experiencing heartache. However, look at all you’ve been through and how far you’ve come. You have overcome challenges you thought were impossible, you have worked through things that seemed insurmountable, and you have probably already put out many fires already. Use those skills you have used to overcome past challeneges to the fires you’re facing now. You have resources you don’t see right now just behind the corner of asking for help. Find people who believe that you’re going through and lean on them. You are not alone in the struggle and your life matters to not just your kids but to everyone else your life impacts! Don’t give up! There is water that will calm the blaze! I believe you will overcome this and find hope and purpose again!
Being told that you matter can feel hollow. They can feel like a string of letters that well-intentioned people often throw out without the conviction to support the phrase that is needed. It can feel like a pat on the back or the go-to phrase to encourage someone who is struggling. Sometimes that can even mean hearing the phrase “you matter” feels shallow, like someone is writing off all of the shit you’ve trudged through with a sentence that’s supposed to make it all better. What you’ve been through has scarred you and taken you to lows that you never thought imaginable. It has left it’s mark and you are left to live with that pain every day. The weight of trauma can be so destructive, and sometimes hearing “you matter” doesn’t help all that much.
Though it can be overused or said lacking conviction, those two words still ring so true, regardless of who you are or what your past is. You matter. Your life matters. I don’t know you, but I KNOW that you matter because you are a one-of-a-kind, uniquely made human being. There has never been one of you before and there will never be one of you after. Nobody else who ever has or ever will exist can be you and that is why YOU MATTER. Only you can change the lives of those close to you, and only you can shine the bright light that you are where you live, work, and socialize. Only you have the power to be you and that is why you matter.
“Except my kids”. If you haven’t believed a word I say, believe the words you said yourself. You’re not done with your kids. You matter because you mean the world to your children. Every time they look into your eyes they see a strong, fierce, independent parent that cannot be brought down. They see their rock, they see their hope, and they see their future, They see your future. You matter because you are raising amazing children and they can’t grow up without you. Don’t throw away your future. Stay. For yourself, for the impact only you can have, for the lives that only you can change. For your children.
It may feel like life is pinning you and has been pinning you for ages now, and all you can think about is tapping out. It can be so tempting. But your children are watching from right outside the ring, wholeheartedly confident that their amazing parent is fully able and capable to escape life’s chokehold and come out of the other side the victor. In the same way that your children believe in you, believe in yourself.
You truly matter. You are worthy. You are unique. You are so loved. You are the world for your children and they need you. Thank you so much for opening up. We at HeartSupport are here for whatever you need. Holdfast- we believe in you.
I’m so sorry you feel as though no one is taking you seriously. That can be extremely frustrating and overwhelming leaving us feeling like there’s no way out. It can also be lonely and scary. You do matter though! Your feelings matter! You mentioned that you’re done with everyone except your kids and as a parent myself who has struggled with similar feelings I can guarantee you that you matter to them. You are their parent and no one else in this world holds that special role for them. When we’re frustrated and ready to give up it may seem to us that the world would be better without us, but that will never be true because for those kids they would never want to imagine a world without you in it. Hold on to them and the unique role as their parent that only you can fulfill. Every kid needs their parent. When I was depressed and felt trapped and misunderstood, I held on tight to them and reminded myself over and over that I had two special gifts that I would never want to hurt in any way. Our kids need us, even when we’re falling apart. Hold on to that and know that you are not alone and there is hope. It wasn’t an easy road for me but I can tell you wholeheartedly that having come out on the other side I am so grateful I hung on because I’ve experienced amazing moments with them, even when it was really hard and no one knew I was struggling. It’s so worth it! You are worth it and your kids need you to fight! We are here for you!