You forever feel dirty and angry at the people for

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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Daddy By Korn
You forever feel dirty and angry at the people for not believing you. Hurts to be told you were the one asking it.
I’ll never forget when I told my step dad , god doesn’t see this right. He said it’s ok cause god made Adam and Eve.

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Healing from sexual abuse takes time and support. A therapist can be a powerful resource to help you process what happened, understand your emotions, and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Joining a support group can also be incredibly helpful. Connecting with other survivors can validate your experience and help you feel less alone.

Your stepdad’s comment about Adam and Eve likely reflects how the abuser tried to manipulate the situation. It’s important to remember that abusers often distort religion or morality to justify their actions. Taking back control involves understanding that their response was wrong and doesn’t reflect the truth.

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Hello friend,

Thank you for reaching out and for your vulnerability in sharing with us. I’m very sorry to hear about what you went through. How you feel is absolutely valid. It is okay to feel angry about what happened, and about not being believed as well. When you find the courage to finally open up about such events it can be so hurtful when you are blamed and the perpetrator’s actions are justified instead of offering you comfort and support. It can be like a loss of safety and security all over again.

I’d just like to encourage you today by saying that it was not your fault. What happened to you is the responsibility of the person that performed those actions and they are the only people accountable for it. You did not ask for it. And it was not okay.

I hope you are able to receive the help and support that you need to heal from these events. You are a survivor and you have strength within you. :white_heart:

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Thank you so much for your comment, how brave you are.
You will never hear me say that I know how you feel as I honestly do not but one thing I do know is that none of it was your fault, it was done to you not because of you. You are an amazing human being and I hope that you find the peace of mind that you deserve. xx

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Goodness. It’s absolutely understandable to not forget what your stepdad told you at the time. It was such a horrendous thing to believe and to say to you in the first place. You were hurt and suffering, expecting someone you looked up to to protect and understand you… but you were only met with pain added to what you were already going through. With what he said to you, he created this huge distance between you and left you with the message that you could only count on yourself. It’s such an intense level of betrayal, and it must have been so heartbreaking for you. I feel for the child you were and for the person you are today as you still carry these memories and wounds with you. It’s not fair and not how it should have been. This anger that you feel is 100% valid.

In a similar flavor, when I was little and opened up to my mom about the sexual abuse I was experiencing, her only reaction was to punish me for lying. I understood after that speaking out was just not an option. I think sometimes the power of denial is so strong it becomes simply disgusting, especially when it’s in response to someone who’s in distress. At the time when you you reached out, you were very brave for choosing to open up about something that was already so painful and uncomfortable to put into words.

I’m really sorry that you were not met with all the understanding, care and love you deserved - and still deserve. Sometimes it feels like the dismissal and censorship that has been experienced hurts even more than the trauma itself. It’s hard to find peace through it all. My heart truly goes out to you.

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Thank you for reaching out here friend. Sharing what you’ve gone through takes courage, particularly when you’ve faced people who have tried to gaslight you into believing that nothing wrong has happened.

Sexual abuse is never justified and I can’t imagine the pain of having those around you deny that. Some people find the truth about what is happening too hard to bear, but your stepdad seems to be trying to justify it. That is completely unacceptable. Are there people outside of your family you can reach out to; people who are more objective?

No one deserves to have experienced what you have experienced, and equally, no one deserves to then have their pain denied by those around them. You are not responsible and you deserve to have all that has happened to you recognised. x