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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Save Me by Jelly Roll
Your recognition that addiction is based on deep rooted pain. Is spot on. As a 42 year old single, never married and no kids, I have to drink and smoke everyday to numb my pain and suppress my rage from all of the intolerance and ignorance in my life. Keep up the good work and keep cooking!!!
Hope you can find some relief to the things you are going through that are the source of the intolerance and ignorance in your life. It’s never fun to have high levels of these stressors in life, but we are here if you ever want to share more about what you are going through. Addiction is a very tough battle. Hope you’re day today is going alright!
Hey friend,
Thank you so much for reaching out here. I imagine that being 42 and single, never married with no kids must feel living a life that doesn’t always fit the mold society sets for us. That it also feels particularly lonely at times. To look back, reflect on the past and feeling like something didn’t work there because of the pain you’ve been carrying with you and knowing in this life, which is incredibly heartbreaking. It’s like you’re walking a path that others don’t quite understand. And when you’ve faced intolerance and ignorance along the way, it makes sense to seek ways to cope and survive as a result.
Using alcohol and cigarettes to numb the pain is indeed a way to survive, to find a break from the chaos and disappointment that life throws your way. It’s not easy, and it’s definitely not something you signed up for, but here you are, trying to make the best of it. If you feel like you’re waking up every day to a life that isn’t the one you wish to have, then life itself might feel like a living nightmare at times. It’s not just about the buzz or the smoke in the end; it’s about trying to drown out the frustration and anger that keep creeping in. It makes sense. It’s a profoundly human reaction, and in no way it would ever indicate that you would be broken, or that it would be too late for you to reach a life you aspire to get.
I hope you do find moments of peace amidst all of this. I hope you can see, through this pain that you feel, how much the way your life if does not define you - neither condition your future. Even if it’s really hard to see it, or even to believe it when someone else shares this truth with you.
You deserve to feel okay, to find some relief from all the heaviness you’re carrying. It’s okay to take things one day at a time, to give yourself grace and understanding as you keep on trying. To also take time to acknowledge what you have accomplished, and all the areas of your life in which you have grown. It’s not always visible to the eye, it’s not always about things we would consider being important, it can be very subtle at times - but it’s still there, and it’s still worth acknowledging.
You matter friend. You belong.