This is a topic from YOUTUBE. Reply as normal, and we will post it to the user on YouTube.
Belongs to: Therapist Spits It Out - Slipknot
You’re describing my narcissistic father and toxic family members such as aunt ,uncles and certain cousins not all .Everytime I was starting to heal and making better money in life they would come back around act like nothing never happened . Would like to tell them to stay the f outta my life they’re not welcomed in my life .They already had done enough damage in my life .
I went through that as well, and one thing that helped me is that family isn’t defined by blood. Just because you’re related to someone by blood doesn’t necesarily mean you’re family. It’s a group who is always going to be there for each other no matter what. I’ve had to cut some of my family out of my life, and I was just straight up and honest with them. Did they take it well? Some did, some didn’t, but at the end of the day it’s going to be what’s best for you.
I can see/read the hurt you’re feeling and even just by this post can see it’s been something that has been hurting you for a long time.
I may not have anything advisable to give you right now, but I do want you to know that you are cared about. I hope you feel safe in this space to unload and to talk about what you need.
Hey Friend, It can be so difficult with family can’t it? they annoy you so you want them gone but they are blood so you give them grace, they take advantage and you give them the benefit of the doubt and they just dont see it.
I think there comes a point when you just have to see them as just people and decide what their worth is to your happiness, if someone makes you miserable, frustrated or angered everytime you see them, maybe you just shouldnt see them, but you can just tell them that its not working well or you could gradually distance yourself from them?
Ultimately you decide who is or isnt in your life and thats it. I wish you luck. Lisa x
Gosh, it’s so brutal to get to the point of having to remove family members from your life. Part of you knows, rationally, that their presence is unwanted and adding more hurt into your life. But at the same time it feels so conflicting to push away people we’ve learned to be loyal to - by principle. Even when we recognize that family is first and foremost the one we choose, we still have to deal with the one we didn’t choose in the first place.
For what it’s worth, it took me a very long time to cut ties with my parents, to recognize the abuse I’ve been through under their own hands and negligence, and to accept this reality as being my own. There’s a part within me that longed over and over for the possibility of something better, for the hope of better parents and relationships. But at some point it feels like being stuck in a stranglehold. You’re pushed more and more in your limits, and there’s only so much that one can take in over time. If you know this song from Linkin Park, One Step Closer, it conveys this reality brilliantly, and I’ve no doubt you would relate to the lyrics.
No matter what decision you may take in the future regarding them, I hope that it will come at a time that feels appropriate for you, and would help move towards feeling more peace within. It sounds like you’ve been carrying on your shoulders a lot of unwanted stress and pressure that you surely don’t deserve to hold anymore. You deserve to feel free to move and be yourself, without being on your guard, or being expected to be a certain way.
