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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to a 45 by Shinedown
Yup that’s exactly how I feel every single day like what’s the point of even trying anymore to ask for help or say that I’m not okay it always gets flipped around to being my fault or I get told to try things I said I’ve already tried and don’t work. Like I have had multiple mental health professionals say that I’m a lost cause because of how many medications I’ve tried and don’t work and I usually become the therapist or something I say they use in other cases I have been dead inside I don’t feel any emotions now
Hello. I too have been on just about every medication that there is to be named for my mental health, even experimental and new forms of treatments/non traditional ones. I am also a suicide survivor. I relate deeply to what you are saying, and I went through many mental health professionals before finding one that was even a shred of what I thought I needed to feel better. In the end I think that medications are only tools, and that the real growth and changes have to come from internal changes in perspective and self-love/self-worth. I also believe it is important to not judge a person trying to help us, on what they can not offer us, but to try to look for what they can, even if it is something very minor. It is perfectly appropriate to self-advocate though, and if something is not working for you. It is perfectly fine to have moved on from it, hopefully in the search of someone/something new that can help.
It took a variety of things for me to come to the other side of my pain and agony in my journey. Jarring life events, books, professionals, peers, and things of this nature. I spent 26 years of my life lost in it all, mainly internalizing it all and not sharing. And even once in active mental health recovery I almost died, and didn’t make any real progress for years, until one day I did. I can say confidently now, that there is another side to it all, and that all of the things we survive create a capability in us, that is not possible in someone who has not been through the things we have been through as individuals. All of us enduring different things, but the greater the severity of the things we survive, the greater the ceilings of understanding and potential growth/success is waiting on the other side of that pain. If we survive long enough, and work hard enough to make it to that other side. Not all of us do, and even on that other side there are still going to be moments of crisis/habitual negative emotions/thoughts. I’m here with HeartSupport now to try to support people to survive long enough to see the other side, because I believe the other side of the pain exists for us all, if we make it long enough to find it. I have seen more than a handful of people lose this battle. I want to see you win. I believe you can win. Please feel free to share more with us if you want/need. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing in youtube comments there is also forum.heartsupport.com. Hope you are having a better day today then previous and can find some relief over time to what you are experiencing. <3
Thank you for sharing your experience. Wow! I’m so truly sorry about the way you have been treated by others and professionals. It is so hard to work up the courage to express you need help and to seek out help. And it is such a great first step (regardless of the reactions of others, you did a good a thing). So it saddens me to read that your courage and bravery was met with blame and discouragement. I know a lot of people have this self-talk where they say how you feel is solely a result of your mind and what you think and there are people that use that kind of material as an excuse to say well if you feel depressed or anxious then it is your fault. But I’d like to tell you, that it most certainly is not your fault. What you have been feeling and what you have been seeking help for is not your fault. Every person is different and sometimes it does take a bit longer, more trial and error, to figure out what methods of support work. Just because it takes longer, or you have had to try a few different things does not make you a lost cause. And it is highly unprofessional for any mental health worker to make such comments. They should be providing you with non-judgmental support and a safe space to work through your feelings, not adding to your negative feelings.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of bad professionals in the industry. This means that sometimes we have to go through a few bad eggs until we find a professional that is in the industry for good reasons that actually care for others and genuinely want to help them that we are a good match with.
I can understand how this could lead to feelings of defeat and feeling like reaching out for help is pointless. I don’t blame you! It would be hard for anyone to want to continue putting themselves out there if they have consistently been disappointed by the responses they have received thus far. I do believe that the right support system is out there for you somewhere. And I hope that one day when you are ready, that you are able to find them and get the help that you need and very much deserve.
So I have an update. Thankfully I don’t know how to give up on the things that I want including finding a way to heal. My entire 42yrs on this earth has been nothing but trauma every single year since I was born. I recently made a tough decision to relocate away from the place and people who got me sick in the first place. The psych ward here is very very unique in that it’s truly voluntary and they won’t 96 anyone but they want you to stay as long as you need to get better. Thankfully they have a amazing Dr that actually found the right combination of meds and I was able to relearn coping skills I forgot or couldn’t use because I was in active trauma but I am thrilled to say I am getting better. Not completely stable yet but I now know that I can be. My desire to heal and get better is finally greater than the fear of what getting better looks like. My sick and tired was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I thought my life was going to end at my own hands or by my abusive ex gf but once I got to the place I relocated to now and the fact that the hospital I was in gave me the time and realization that I can get better combined with you guys pouring out your compassion and encouragement it reignited my desire to find a way to get back my life and my mental health journey is far from over but it is finally looking hopeful instead of hopeless. Thanks for your support and encouragement not to give up
