A Public Goodbye Letter

[E_Man]

First of all, thanks everyone in the Heartsupport for being kind and supporting me when I was sad.

It is my birthday and I turned 17. My life turned upside down 7-8 months ago. I was going to better until this week. This week I realised so many things. I started self harm again. I learned that my family doesn’t cares about me anymore. I learned that my therapist doesn’t takes me seriously. I learned that I just had few real friends left. I just learned that life has no point.

They took my knife away so I can’t do self harm.

I tried everything I could to warn people around me about myself. But even my therapist didn’t care.

I was part of the support groups and it was really fun to help people here. Thanks Ashwell and Ash for that.

My parents and my therapist didn’t care about anything. They just said you have a “nice” family, a home, everything you want. They just don’t understand me. They emotionally ruined me and said this stuff was my fault. I hope one day they get what they deserve.

I am leaving this world. Goodbye.

Thank you Heartsupport for making me enjoy my last days.

~E Man

[Ashwell]

E man!!!
E man if you are reading this. Please dont do this. Go to hospital and get yourself admitted please. Or call List of suicide crisis lines - Wikipedia. E man please. You dont have to do this there is hope. just because the people around you dont understand doesnt mean we dont. We are here for you. Please reach out for help. You are a compassionate person who cares that is just in a lot of pain. Please E man…

[Sita]

those were very unhelpful things to tell you, and I do believe that your therapist was one of the bad ones if that’s the approach they took. You want them to get what they deserve? Then live… Live the heck out of life and show them just how amazing you are, and show them how much you can achieve without them.

Happy birthday, 17 is a great age but also a hard age if you feel that you’re not being taken seriously. Do you trust us? In this community we have a lot of folks who have battled these issues for a long time, and they are a good resource to lean on, friend.

Don’t give up yet.

• You are worth more than a bad therapist’s bad advice.

• You are worth more than your misguided or ignorant parents who lack the understanding required to be able to help you.

• I believe that things will get better for you, with the right support, the right treatment. It is hard now, yes, but this doesn’t have to be your forever. There are other resources out there, there are other treatments plans out there.

We care so much about you. Stay with us. Call a hotline or get to a hospital or call emergency services.

You are worth fighting for!!

[ManekiNeko]

E man, I hope you know how worthy of love you are. How much you have to offer others and yourself. Your place in the world isn’t something that anyone can every put a price on, your value in infinite.
There are people who care and want you to thrive and as Sita has said, with the right resources and treatment things can improve so much for you.
You don’t have to or deserve to live with this heavy feeling and burden. You deserve a chance to experience the world around you with pure happiness and embrace all the love others have to give you.
Please reach out to either a hotline or emergency service and get the help you deserve. You deserve this.

[Sita]

I dunno if this could help you. Some of my fave ppl in the world do gaming comedy vids, but they have a series called “Bad therapist”. The goal is to make us laugh at the over the top scenarios, and by laughing and talking about it, to make mental health issues less taboo and more mainstream and “normal” to talk about.

Your therapist sounds like the one in this skit, and they seemed not too educated about how to best tackle your challenges, means that there will definitely be more benefit to be gained from going to a better therapist in time, or even talking with us here… Come here and post every 30 minutes if that is what you need to do!! We’re here for YOU.

[Micro]

Sharing a simple update that E_Man is safe.

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I’m proud of you @E_Man and I am looking forward to having some updates from you soon.

We love you. You are not alone. Each step on the road can be challenging, even feeling defeating at times, but it’s always possible to slow down and figure out solutions.

When/if you feel the rush of hurting yourself, try to sit down on the floor for a bit and breathe. Then if that is safe for you, walk to your fridge and go hold something very cold in your hands. You can also replace it by placing your hands under cold water, or even take a cold shower. This is a very quick and effective way to disrupt your thoughts and reconnect to the world around you.

The fact that you have been experiencing significant progress is something to hold on to. There IS hope. Something to remind yourself over and over when this kind of urge arises too.

You are not alone. You are loved. These obstacles don’t define the trajectory of your life.

Next step: asserting your voice (respectfully) with your therapist. If you need help figuring out ways to formulate things, we can help here to prepare this and brainstorm with you.

• Let them know what you would like to talk about and focus on during your meeting.
• Ask them politely to listen first and wait for you to give the signal that you’re ready to receive their feedback, when you are ready for it.

Keeping the crisis resources with you and use them as a priority.

I would also like to encourage you to try to work on defining a Safety Plan in case a crisis situation if this happens in the future. Here, on the forum, we could then encourage you more effectively and make sure that the situation remains safe for everyone. If you feel okay doing so, please consider writing down and sharing a safety plan from this category:

https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/about-the-safety-plan-category/24686

We can then work, as a community, with something shared with you that you would have agreed with, and remind you the steps to take if that is necessary. It’s a good way to collaborate all together and provide a personal support.

Remember that no one here is a trained counselor. We are just people who care. We show love and want the best to one another, but there are situations that also still require therapeutic help, like active suicidal thoughts.

I can tell that you are genuinely and dearly cared for. I hope you feel all that love, even through a mobile or computer screen. I’m looking forward to seeing you on SWAT next Wednesday, if that is safe for you. Otherwise, it’s always okay to hang out on the general chat too.