hi friends. Man, the breakup is still hitting me. Not quite as bad. I havent cried today. I feel somewhat numb. More than anything else I feel slightly depressed and dark. I feel so small. I feel guilty for dropping him. He hasnt spoken to me since, I know thats normal though:/ I just hate getting used to not hearing from him. All in all the breakup was healthy for the both of us. we just were not right for each other. Ugh but my depression is taking advantage of this hurt. I feel useless. I feel like no one needs me or like little to few care despite that being untrue. I feel like im trying so hard, and whats the point. Im so internally tired. I also have not been sleeping well lately . This all sucks so much
Yeah, it really does suck! It’s the emotional equivalent of a tooth extraction without Novocain. The difference is that the dental pain will go away more quickly. Despite the hurt, you seem to be keeping the coming apart in perspective. Breakups usually do cause a loss of confidence, also feelings of guilt. Even when it’s necessary to say what it takes to get the breakup message across, you are still caring and empathetic, and it goes against your nature to say things that make another person sad.
I’m impressed that you realize your feelings are causing you difficulty accepting the reality of the situation - that the breakup was needed, and you’re willing to accept the pain of separation, even though it feels “crappy.” It’s like taking bitter medicine, knowing that it’ll help you.
You won’t always feel crappy. It may take some time, but you will notice that it hurts less with each passing day.
Venting is good, especially in a place such as this, where nobody’s going to give you a hard time about it, as we’re all struggling with something.
Breakups are never easy. If they’re easy, then that’s called a separation. I’ve been there before, and it’s devastating. There’s a reason the word “break” is in there. It hurts so bad, like you lost a chunk of your heart and that ache seems like it’ll never go away.
And maybe it won’t. Not entirely. You’ll remember this pain in the future and gently wince, like the rest of us who were hurt in this way. Maybe you’ll find yourself talking about it again and again with loved ones just to find closure within yourself. That’s okay. It really is okay.
The good news is that this open wound of yours will scab over and heal. If it leaves a scar, then so be it. It’s proof that you’re a badass and that you made it through a tough time. A badge of courage over your heart. You’ll learn and grow from this when you’re ready, but for now, it’s okay to grieve. Take your time, but don’t be unkind to yourself. Don’t give in to those thoughts telling you that you are unimportant, that no one cares. Just because one Person was removed from your circle doesn’t mean that all of your People have been too. Lean on them, talk to them. You are so incredibly loved and I know how hard it is sometimes to believe that. You’ll just have to trust me. You are.
For me, it took a few years to fully accept and move on. I loved her with all my heart and she always took it for granted. Never really took stock of all the things I did for her. Unfortunately the way we split wasn’t kind or mutual, but it’s safe to admit that despite how attached we were, we were toxic together. Like lemon juice in milk, two good things put together will curdle.
I still think about her, but now I’ve learned what we both did wrong and I’ve grown from the hurt. It doesn’t hurt so bad anymore. A callous has grown over that scar and I can look at the situation objectively and be glad that we are apart now. I found new People that remind me how important I am, especially when I feel like I’m worthless and a disappointment to all. You’ll find those folks who make you feel like a bright sunny day and make you feel valued. Maybe not now, but someday. You will be okay.
One human can’t ruin your happiness forever. It’s okay to be sad, okay to feel guilty. Allow yourself the time to feel your feelings. Numb, depressed, dark, this is all natural. All that means is that you cared, and you need some time to let yourself free.
It may take a while, though, so just make sure you go through your self-care routines. Your emotions have gone on standby, but the rest of you is still going!
Thank you for your kind response <3 it means a lot! I hope you have a good day:)
Thank you Wings. It’s very challenging but i’ll
Make it through somehow
People take loss differently, How is you! thanks for sharing
I myself took yrs to find myself after being inlove and didnt work out
I’m now well and happy, life… feel the moment… dont stay there! but its okay to say to let yourself say this sucks