Oh Sammy, it’s so hard to see people fighting, especially when only care about them and just want to love them. It leaves you forced to deal with this tension all around, which makes it hard to know what is the right thing to say or do. It sounds like you have a good understanding of why this tension arised, and from your mom’s point of view it is really understandable that she was upset. It must be worrysome and disheartening to know your own parent has gone through surgery, but also being aware that you were not in the loop. It’s unfortunate that her anger and frustration resulted with arguments at your home though. As our friends said here, parents are of course not perfect and go through their own set of emotions, sometimes particuarly heavy ones too. It’s hard when there’s this amount of intense energy that seems to need to be directed somewhere, but ends up being expressed in ways that are also unfair.
In this context, and given how touchy that moment was, it sounds like you really did the right thing by not adding to the comments of your mom. You did what you could at the time by helping out, and you also acknowledged what could be fair or not to say. This was surely one of those moments when it’s not the right time to add more to the ongoign tension and pain. Well done for addressing and approaching the situation like you did. It was very mature to try to not take sides, even if you wanted to.There’s a right time for everything.
I hope that, since this happened, the atmosphere at home is a little bit more peaceful, and that you don’t feel like having to walk on eggshells anymore. Hoping for some resolution and healing for your mom too. Hold Fast.