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Dealing with a friends suicide attempt

My mind is all over the place right now. My internet best friend attempted to kill herself last night.
And honestly, I don’t know how to feel. I’m so worried, I will lose her.
Plus, I was starting to get better, but this kinda threw me back into my circle of feeling nothing but worry and pain. My mind can’t calm down, I
all I’m thinking about is “What if she is hurting herself right now?” “What if she tries again?” “What if…”
I’ve had another friend, telling me she almost tried to kill herself a while ago and I just feel so… lost and scared.
I’m dealing with suicidal thoughts myself, everyday is a fight to stay alive. I’m trying my best, to be there for my friends and to give them some sort of hope but it’s hard, when I don’t believe what I am saying. If that made any sense…

God, I’m such a mess right now. I feel so much and nothing at the same time. I just feel like I’m breaking more and more everyday.

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Thank you for coming here for support. I am so sorry for what you and your friend are going through right now. Suicidal thoughts are really difficult to overcome some days - I’ve been there myself. For me, what helped (besides therapy) was to journal and read… do you have anything that has helped you in the past? And what has helped your friend in the past? It can be really hard to just not know regarding the safety of your friend… Can you call them up periodically? Maybe have scheduled check ins? You’ll have to find what works for you and your friend, but it’s worth a shot.

In case you need any of these, please don’t hesitate to reach out:

It is NEVER too late. You MATTER!

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From: bitemarque

I’m so sorry that you are going through this. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength and a desire to keep going. I have made it to where I am by living for other people sometimes, and there has been so much I would have missed if I had given up. Know that you are worthy of love and the world is a better place because you are in it. I find this poem helpful, hopefuly it will be for you as well: https://www.wattpad.com/487095675-songs-and-written-poetry-hannah-dains-don’t-kill

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From: alexaneronline

hold fast, I believe in you. please take care and stay safe. you are a amazing to support your friends while they go through the same thing as you and please remember you can’t pour a empty cup

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Well, for me; I got a new therapist recently. And I like to write down everything I feel or want to do to myself. It helps me control my thoughts and feelings in some way. I got some apps to get me away from self-harm, etc.

But for her? I can’t really say much about that, she doesn’t talk much about it all. What I do know, is that she lives in a kinda abusive household and as far as I know, she also gets bullied in school.

I don’t really know, how to help her or what to do.

We also live kinda far away from each other. I try my best, to check in on her everyday but she often isn’t her on her phone or responds only in the evenings.

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Hey friend, thank you for sharing all of this. Being in this position of knowing that someone you love is deeply hurting and struggling is really tough. In this situation, you can feel pretty helpless and defeated - and that’s okay.

You did the right thing by sharing about what’s going on. It’s important that you keep being supported too, through all of this.

You are a good friend without a doubt. And your entire message shows how much you care. You have a good heart and your concerns are absolutely valid. Thank you for what you do for her. For checking in everyday and showing her that you care. Maybe you don’t see it, but that’s incredibly precious and powerful. It’s a beautiful thing to do. And even if you feel like you don’t know what to do to help, I really wanted to emphasize the fact that you’re actually doing a lot already - and this, despite what you’re actually dealing with.

Sometimes the only thing we can do is listening, encouraging with the means that we have, being understanding or showing that we care. And that’s always a lot already.

Just a suggestion: what about encouraging your friend to be part of this community or even just post on the Support Wall? It’s safe, anonymous, and she would only be welcomed with extra love and support. :wink:

I’m dealing with suicidal thoughts myself, everyday is a fight to stay alive. I’m trying my best, to be there for my friends and to give them some sort of hope but it’s hard, when I don’t believe what I am saying. If that made any sense…

It makes totally sense. I feel the same sometimes, because it’s easier to know what’s good for someone than to apply it to ourselves. It’s only my opinion, but I think you actually believe what you’re saying to your friend. It’s just easier to have compassion and show some love to the people we care about than to ourselves, especially when we’re struggling. But it doesn’t mean it has to be like this all the time. You can actually learn to be a friend to yourself, progressively. And from what I read here, somehow you’re doing it already: through journaling, through therapy, and by being here. Those are concrete stepsfor your own health and safety. And you can be proud of yourself for this. <3

As you keep reminding to your friend that they matter, then I want to use this post as an opportunity to remind you that you are loved as well. You have worth and you matter, friend.

PS: As you mentioned journaling, if this could be of any help, know that there is a journaling category here on this forum that you can use anytime. You can get more infos here:

Sending tons of love your way. :hrtlegolove:

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