Two of my closest friends (Kilo and Echo) and I got into a small argument on whether gun safety should be taught in school. It seemed minor on the outside, just us debating a contentious topic, but I felt like it went deeper than that. Later, I told the two to take it to DMs so I could try to stay out of this conversation, I don’t think they continued talking there.
For certain, I get stressed whenever I talk about firearm safety or the lack thereof, given my nightmares. Based on his responses, I believe Kilo also gets on his nerves when this stuff is brought up. I’m not expecting an answer to this but I’m not sure what this would look like for our future relationship, nor do I know if he trusts me anymore.
I feel like I started this argument as I brought up the topic, as I believe that education can stop preventable incidents like accidental discharges. Now Echo claims he started the argument, but I looked at the chat history and I was the one who made the statement that this should be part of a life skills class or something similar. I wonder how Kilo is doing right now. I don’t know how badly I hurt him, if at all. He sounds fine in the group chat but he is also known for not being the most open about his emotions.
Just now school got cancelled because of threats of violence at a nearby school. For context (or perhaps, my clever reader, you have figured out) I live in the US. I have lost a lot of hope in humanity, just recent events and what humans do to each other and other living things on our beautiful planet. I also think I’m part of this problem (despite Echo’s claims that I’m not) because I’m contributing to our infamous statistic of 1.2 firearms/person. I could be part of the problem in the future, but this could be my fears acting on my thoughts.
I am afraid of what damage has been done to our relationship and of my potential ability to hurt others.
I think you have the right to feel the way that you are feeling. I think your close friends probably value more then just your opinion on gun safety though, right? So even if you did touch on a sore subject for someone, or they did on you. You have the rest of your friendship to fall back on, and it should be okay.
You seem like someone who deeply thinks and considers how they are effecting other people. With the intent that you want your friends, and the people around you to be happy. That sounds like the opposite of someone who will bring harm to someone. I think a lot of times hurting others. Starts with the intent to hurt others. Your intentions are the opposite.
As for un-intentionally hurting some ones feelings. How someone is doing, and if they trust you. All the stuff related to individuals. I think these would be good things to ask in conversation. This way you can find out more about their feelings, which can then replace the worries about how they feel. So I guess the only way to truly find out is to ask.
Not sure this helped, but I hope you feel better! -Thrice
Thank you for replying, I could try to ask Kilo how he feels tonight, hopefully he won’t be too bothered. That seems like a good way to understand his thoughts.
hey, this is a topic i know i can’t fully understand considering i live in the UK, but i understand it can be touchy topic for many people (especially students). Maybe you should try having a conversation with your friend about your feelings and fears if you are comfortable in order to avoid another situation like this. i also thing you should ask them if the argument hurt them and if so apologise for doing so. this is a hard topic and its sad that this is reality for many, but please dont give up on humanity just yet as not all of us are so bad :).
i hope you feel better soon and stay safe,
Hi, 8-bit! Thank you for sharing here.
Talking about sensitive topics with friends can be one of the most challenging things in the world. I want to start by commending you for thinking of your friends’ feelings!
It sounds like you care about them.
You mention reaching out to check on Kilo - which seems like a great step! How did that go?
Hello there, 8-bit!
Were you able to talk to your friend about how he was feeling about the topic and the debate/discussion you all had? If so how did it go?
I feel like setting aside what the actual topic you all were discussing the fact that you seemed able to have an open conversation about something sensitive and share your thoughts and opinions with each other is a very important lesson in life. People will always have different opinions from you and have open and respectful debates with other people, especially those of differing opinions, shows maturity and strength of character. It is just always important to remember to be respectful of other people and how they may feel about the topics and to know when to end the conversation. It sounds like you did well with both of those things and I’m proud of you for that.
I hope that you continue having healthy debates with people in the future and that you and your friends are able to continue respecting each other’s feelings and boundaries while having differing opinions. You are a great person
I haven’t been able to get a hold of him, he’s really busy right now but I’ll try to talk to him soon and keep y’all updated.
Thank you for your reply and welcome back to Heart Support. For sure, it is a touchy topic because (in my opinion) it is unnecessarily politically hairy. I did talk to Kilo about my fears before this, I told him everything in my linked post. He didn’t seem to have much reaction, I don’t think he truly understood how much this affects me. I tried to initiate contact with him tonight (ironically asked to play an FPS together), but there was no response, he is probably busy. I will definitely see him tomorrow so I will talk to him then and keep y’all updated.
I talked to Echo, who was also worried about Kilo afterwards. Both of them seemed fine just by looking at them, but I can never tell. I hope I didn’t take the conversation too far, but I will never know until I talk to them both, which I will try to do tomorrow.